Tyson Loves Dope

More fun on the Tyson front. The interview he gave police after his arrest this week has now become public. If you’ve got 5 minutes its definitely worth the read. Tyson is one screwed up dude. The former champ told cops he smokes cocaine that he packs into Marlboro cigarettes, is unable to roll his own joints, and gets "a little crazy" without the use of the antidepressant Zoloft. Tyson also claimed that he takes all three drugs at the same time because it makes him feel “good.”

If offering clandestine breast enhancement surgery in my basement makes me a doctor, then I’m totally qualified to offer a prognosis. And if Tyson says this drug cocktail makes him feel “good” we should be prescribing as much coke, weed, and Zoloft to him as possible. When he’s not feeling good he’s a threat to every child that he comes into contact with. And “threat” is a nice way of saying he’ll eat them.