Sunday, January 11, 2009

Throwing Smoke Flashback - Rob Ray beats fan

When you see hockey now, you start to realize these were the good ole days!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Isiah is all class

Medics were called early Friday to Thomas' Westchester County home, where police said a 47-year-old man was taken to the hospital and treated for an overdose of sleeping pills. Several media outlets reported that police confirmed it was Thomas who went to the hospital.

But reached on his cell phone Friday, the 47-year-old NBA great told the New York Post he had not been treated for a sleeping pill overdose, and that it was 17-year-old daughter Lauren who had a medical issue. It "wasn't an overdose," he told the newspaper. "My daughter is very down right now. None of us are OK."

A suburban police chief likened the conflicting accounts of an accidental overdose at Isiah Thomas' home to a "cover-up" and rebuked the former New York Knicks coach Saturday for saying it was his teenage daughter who required treatment.

David Hall, Harrison Police Chief stated, "Why they're throwing her under the bus is beyond my ability to understand. It wasn't his daughter. And why they're throwing her under the bus is beyond my ability to understand."

"My cops ... know the difference between a 47-year-old black male and a young black female," Hall said. "These people should learn something from Richard Nixon -- it's not the crime, it's the cover-up," he added.

Isiah, on behalf of all Knicks fans, let me give you this advice - Try Arsenic.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Vince Young personifies sanity

On Monday night, Metro Police issued a bulletin for officers to be on the lookout for Titans quarterback Vince Young after Coach Jeff Fisher expressed concern about his emotional well being.

“Given the totality of the situation, Coach Fisher was concerned about Young’s emotional well-being. He contacted the police department and expressed to us his concern,’’ Aaron said. “Once he came to Baptist Sports Park and was assessed, it appeared the concerns from earlier in the night were unfounded.’’ According to police, Young left his home abruptly Monday night and sped off without his cell phone. A person at Young’s home contacted Fisher, who then contacted police. After Young eventually made contact with Fisher several hours later, he was told he needed to meet with police. Young had a handgun in the glove compartment of his vehicle, but it was not loaded and Aaron said officers had no concerns about Young trying to harm himself.

When your franchise QB has a mental capicity slightly higher than Corky from Life Goes On, plus a hand gun to boot, that is reason to worry. Even moreso then seeing T.O with a prescription for sleeping pills.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Spanish Team Has Slanted View of Reality

A promotional photo of the Spanish men's Olympics basketball team, using their index fingers as if to slant their eyes, has sparked controversy with Asian rights groups. News reports on the photo have stirred controversy, particularly outside China. Some have criticized the team for making a racist gesture, an assertion the team denies. Point guard Jose Calderon said a sponsor asked the team "to pose with a 'wink' to our participation in Beijing" and that "we made an Oriental expression with our eye." "We thought it was something appropriate and that it would always be interpreted as somewhat loving. Nevertheless, some of the European media did not see it this way."

Hey, it could have been worse. At least they weren't seen picking lice off of each other's back and tossing bananas as the Americans.

Friday, July 25, 2008

The week of the brawl

If there WNBA fight wasn't enough for you this week, here is a minor league baseball fight from this week. The Dayton Dragons vs. Peoria Chiefs video shows some insane action, including a pitcher meaning to throw a ball into a dugout, but instead hit a fan. This is Piston/Pacer style action!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

WNBA turning gangsta

Not to be outdone by their male counterparts, there was all out fireworks in last nights LA Sparks/Detroit Shock WNBA game. This is highlighted by Rick Mahorn throwing Lisa Leslie to the floor. I never thought I could get this turned on watching a woman's basketball game. Especially considering it doesn't involve a vat of jello.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Jaguar busted

Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver Matt Jones faces a felony drug charge in his former college town after police say he was inside a car cutting up cocaine with a credit card. Police said they searched the vehicle and found a plastic bag filled with a white substance that tested positive for cocaine and a jar with possible marijuana residue. Police said 6 grams of cocaine was found.

Maybe you’re like me and are saying to yourself “Damn! Another brotha’s going to jail for snorting in his car.” But click on his player profile. What in Jason Williams is going on here?! This can’t be right?! Next thing they’ll be telling us is that the Manning brothers were arrested for gang raping a stripper.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

ARod single again

Not that his marriage vows stopped him from playing the field, but this week Alex Rodriguez's wife, Cynthia filed for divorce. Cynthia filed for divorce from A-Rod on the grounds that "the marriage of the parties is irretrievably broken because of the husband's extramarital affairs and other marital misconduct," the lawsuit states.

That "misconduct" presumably includes Alex Rodriguez's relationship with Madonna, which his wife says involves the Jewish mystic philosophy kabbalism -- and the pop star playing the role of teacher to A-Rod, her doe-eyed, "brainwashed" student. A-Rod's obsession with all things Madonna includes listening only to her music while driving, dumping his longtime sports agent for her manager -- a kabbalah practitioner -- and the three of them enjoying private Friday-night Sabbath dinners together, sources have said. All of these things were the last straw for his wife, who has suffered through a string of extramarital affairs by Stray-Rod during their 5½ years of marriage. All of this just months after the couple had their second child together.

We already knew Rodriguez liked slamming she-males, so stuffing Madonna makes total sense. Especially if he's into decrepit mature women. Sleeping with Madonna is only slightly better than Bea Arthur. And by slightly better I mean she doesn't wake him up in the middle of the night to change her diapers.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Vick is broke

Jailbird QB Michael Vick filed for bankruptcy protection while serving time for federal dogfighting charges. It is claimed he owes between US$10 million and $50 million to creditors. Vick filed Chapter 11 papers in U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Newport News on Monday. The seven largest creditors listed in the court papers are owed a total of about $12.8 million. The debt includes part of a signing bonus that the Falcons are seeking to recover, as well as $4.5 million owed to Richmond-based Joel Enterprises Inc., and $550,0000 owed to Radtke Sports Inc. for breach of contract. The suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback ``will seek to rebuild his life and career'' upon his release, according to the filings.

Being in jail is bad enough without have someone else in on his ass. At 3-cents per licence plate, Mexico's got a lot of work ahead of him. Other than Michael Strahan who would have thought that having ferocious bitches on your property would have cost so much.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Rapping Shaq smacks Kobe like the bitch he is

What do you get when you take the Big Aristotle and mix in some alcohol? Yeah, that's right, freestylin' gold.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Clemens is still a cheater

According to reports, alleged steroid abuser Roger Clemens had a decade-long relationship with country star Mindy McCready that began when she was a 15-year-old aspiring singer and the pitcher was a Boston Red Sox ace, the Daily News reported. Clemens was 28 and a married father of two when he first met McCready, the newspaper reported. In its story Monday night, sources told the News that McCready went with Clemens to his hotel room in Fort Myers, Fla., after their first meeting but that they did not have sex. The relationship turned intimate after she later moved to Nashville and became a country star, the paper said.

"I cannot refute anything in the story," McCready told the newspaper in a story posted on its Web site Monday night. "I have known Roger Clemens for a long time," she said, without detailing the nature of their relationship.

Clemens' lawyer, Rusty Hardin, confirmed the pitcher and singer had known each other for a long time but told the newspaper there was no sex.

I would have figured that douchebag was too busy shooting growth hormone into his ass to worry about his dick. And by douchebag, I mean fat pig. And by fat pig I mean statutory rapist. Why can't he just die already?

Friday, April 18, 2008

It's playoff time, baby!

With the NHL playoffs in full effect, below is the TSN Sportscentre top 10 playoff hits. Boo-yeah.

Friday, April 11, 2008

F1 boss loves Nazi Orgies.....but who doesn't?

A 90-second portion of a video showing Formula One boss Max Mosley taking part in S&M games with five prostitutes will be put on a British newspaper's website after Mosley lost an injunction bid Wednesday. The extract comes from a video which formed the basis for a News of the World story last month headlined: "F1 boss has sick Nazi orgy with 5 hookers" and prompted Mosley to launch a legal claim for breach of privacy.

In the entire video, Mosley is with five women in an underground "torture chamber" in Chelsea, where he spent several hours allegedly indulging in sado-masochistic sex. The Oxford-educated former lawyer, who is president of the Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile, re-enacted a concentration camp scene in which he played the role of both guard and inmate. Speaking in German and brandishing a leather whip, he beat the women after allowing himself to be subjected to a humiliating inspection for lice and an interrogation in chains. The News of the World said afterwards that the newspaper would be offering the full footage of the tape to the FIA.

Correct me if I am wrong, but it wasn't like Mosely was seen lighting up his gas oven or anything. What goes on in the bedroom is no one's business other than you and the sluts. Do you honestly think this doesn't go on in Kobe's bedroom? Only less fascism. And more anal.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Sean Avery may pay for things

According to the New York Daily News, Rangers hockey star Sean Avery's name and private cell phone number are in the little black book of Manhattan madam Kristin Davis. Avery, 27, a trash-talking enforcer who has dated a string of models and actresses, is listed as a $500 client of brothel Maison de L'Amour.

Avery denies ever calling that slut and speculated that an adversary used his name and number to book a $500 date through the Maison de L'Amour brothel. Avery said "I certainly have a lot of enemies," and may be considering a lawsuit against the Daily News, according to a 1erson who has spoken with him. "I do know that if I was to venture into one of these establishments, I wouldn't use my real name. I think that would be stating the obvious."

Who really cares if he is paying for hot ass? He just plays hockey in New York state; it isn't like he is the governor. What I am most concerned bout is whether Avery is getting the best bang for his buck. If ass to mouth isn't on the daily menu, he is being ripped off if you ask me.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Daly has his priorities straight

John Daly has been cut loose by one of the game's best swing coaches, Butch Harmon, who said he was not going to waste his time with a two-time major champion who is more interested in drinking than working on his golf game. "My whole goal for him was he's got to show me golf is the most important thing in his life," Harmon said from his golf school in Las Vegas. "And the most important thing in his life is getting drunk."

Daly, playing on a sponsor's exemption, last week, because he no longer has his full PGA Tour card, spent a 2 1/2-hour rain delay during Thursday's first round in a Hooters corporate tent behind the 17th green drinking beer, mingling with fans and signing autographs, including one on the back of a woman's pants. When play resumed, he had Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Jon Gruden caddy for him the rest of the day. Daly ended up with a 77. He followed that with an 80 in the second round to miss the cut.

How could Harmon have expected a different result? Did he even bother to look at Daly's resume? Even my 3 year old daughter knows how to use Wikipedia.

Without a full tour card, I am not sure how Daly is able to support three alimony payments. At least they'll be done in a few years. Right about the time he's found dead, face down in a plate of hot wings.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

David Wells has company on the DL (Diabetes List)

Looks like rehab didn’t come early enough in Dmitri Young’s career. And by rehab I mean going cold turkey on the Denny’s buffet. Young, who gained 55 lbs during the off season, showed up to camp weighing 300 lbs and announced he has Type 2 diabetes, the same affliction that Boomer Wells developed after a long career (drinking beer and eating wild animals).

"I'll know when I'm in playing shape," Young was quoted as saying. "That's being able to run and not get gassed, not cramping up. Being able to do everything -- get down on a ground ball, slide, doing everything that's baseball-related and not being fatigued afterwards."

This is a joke right? How can he expect to play baseball when he works up a full sweat putting on his batting helmet? Are the Nats serious about putting him out in the field? Granted he’d probably do a great job of eating up balls hit down the first base line.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Throwing Smoke Flashback - Jennifer Hedger

For all sports fans in Canada, watching Sportscentre at night is a religion. Here is a 6 year old video of SC anchor, Jennifer Hedger, when she appeard on the reality show U8TV: The Lofters. Seeing this give me hope the fantasy I have every night. After announcing the Vancouver Canucks highlights, she will lean over and ram her tongue down Holly Horton's throat!

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Look for the return of the Smoke

A lot of people in this world believe in divine intervention. We at the Smoke now count oursevles amongst them after we sent a letter to the Juice and received back an autographed photo. While he is busting his ass hunting for the real killers, we thought it was disgraceful that we were not hard at work bringing our special brand to the world. In the upcoming weeks, look for the return of Throwing Smoke!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Message to our readers

Due to work/family commitments, we're sorry to say that the blog will only be periodically updated at best going forward. These issues are keeping us busier than Graham James in the back of a 1985 Chevy with Theo Fleury. We thank all of our faithful readers over this past year. It has been a blast.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Who're they doin

Jeff Gordan may be in one hell of a chase for Nascar's title, but one race he did win was that to Ingrid Vandebosch's heart. Ingrid is a supermodel and occasional actress, but full time Nascar groupie. She won the Elite Look of the Year Award in 1990.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

McFadden rushes for SEC record

Heisman Trophy candidate Darren McFadden ran for an SEC-record 323 yards Saturday night, helping Arkansas to a 48-36 win over No. 23 South Carolina. McFadden ran for a touchdown and also threw for one. "Darren McFadden gave it his all. He is like another Barry Sanders," said Razorbacks coach Houston Nutt, who was on the staff at Oklahoma State when Sanders on the Heisman in 1988. "The bigger the game, the better (McFadden) plays, and that is why he deserves the Heisman."

Running that much in one game a lifetime for some players. To put this into perspective, McFadden ran only 4.8 miles less on Saturday than Ryan Shay did during the Olympic marathon qualifier.

Monday, November 05, 2007

NFL Haiku Recap - Week 9

49ers lose.
Falcons win their second match.
Game fit for the dogs


Ocho on stretcher
Lynch rushes, passes for scores
Bills at .500


Lions route Broncos
Detoit are playoff bound?
Cutler hurts his leg


Young is back at it
Titans win 6th of season
Carr, pass to Smith dude.


Pack in Arrowhead
Favre has now beat every team
Winning kills the pain


Peterson's record
296 yards rushing
Vikings shock Chargers


Saints in contention
Brees lights up Jacksonville Jags
Levies are holding


Jets still blow johnson's
Washington comes from behind
Not like Kobe does


Bucs beat Cardinals
Warner was intercepted
On last drive to tie


Brown's overtime win
Lewis rushed for four touchdowns
Shaun A looks washed up


4th quarter lead blown
Pats provide Colts their first loss
To meet for title


Rosenfel's comeback
Leads Texans over Raiders
If you watched you're bored.


T.O in Philly
His Cowboys smoke the Eagles
Reid's sons love cocaine.

Notre Dame is really bad

The Fighting Irish's season hit a new low on Saturday when Navy finally beat Notre Dame 46-44 in triple overtime on Saturday. This ended the Fighting Irish's NCAA-record winning streak against the Midshipmen at 43 games. Roger Staubach was quarterback for the Midshipmen in 1963 when they beat Notre Dame 35-14. Since then, the Irish have had their way -- that is until Saturday. Only seven times during the streak the Midshipmen had chances to win in the fourth quarter only to be thwarted by bad luck, questionable calls or big plays by the Irish

It's a big win for our program. It's a big win for the academy," Navy coach Paul Johnson said. "I'm happy I don't have to answer anything else about the streak every time we play."

This is a huge slap in the face for Notre Dame, during an already embarrassing year. Though still not as bad as being told by your girlfriend that her box is too sensitive to bang. Forever.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Throwing Smoke Flashback - World Junior 1987 Brawl

This is one of the best hockey brawls of all time. 1987 - World Junior Hockey Championship - Canada vs. USSR. While the Soviets were out of medal contention, Canada was playing for the gold medal, and were leading 4-2 at the time of the brawl. Even had they lost the game, they were assured at least the bronze medal.

It began when Pavel Kostichkin took a two handed slash at Theoren Fleury. The Soviet Union's Evgeny Davydov came off the bench, eventually leading to both benches clearing. The officials, unable to break up the fight, walked off the ice and eventually tried shutting off the arena lights, but the brawl lasted for 20 minutes before the International Ice Hockey Federation declared the game null and void. A 35 minute emergency meeting resulting in the delegates voting 7-1 to disqualify both teams from the tournament, the sole dissenter being Canadian Dennis McDonald. Both teams were also banned from attending the players' banquet at the end of the tournament.

Now that is old time hockey!

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Poet's Corner

The wildfires were burning,
And Zumaya's shoulder was churning.
After a box fell on it.
Will miss half the season, quite a bit.
While off Guitar Hero 3 he will be learning.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Hingis loves coke

Martina Hingis, a five-time Grand Slam champion revealed Thursday she tested positive for cocaine at Wimbledon and will retire for a second time rather than fight what she called a "horrendous" accusation. "I am frustrated and angry," the 27-year-old Hingis said at a news conference in Zurich, Switzerland, her voice breaking as she fought back tears. "I believe that I am absolutely, 100 percent innocent." She read a prepared statement ending with the vow, "I have never taken drugs," then left without taking questions.

I don't know if Hingis did blow or not. What I do know is if that test gave a positive result for having a ton of rod in her yapper. Yeah. She's guilty.

Wolverines are thieves

Michigan State football players SirDarean Adams, T.J. Williams and Jeremy Ware have been charged with unarmed robbery at a store. They were arraigned last week in District Court in Mason on a felony robbery charge, according to court records. Williams also was charged with misdemeanor assault and battery in the altercation on April 21.

Isn't this what they call team building excercises? This is exactly like the Utah Jazz rape allegation. Exept they were armed. With 8-inch black pistols.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Weekly Poll Results

In the midst of our 1 year celebration, our readers were asked which regular feature was enjoyed the most.

To no one's surprise, 2/3 of our readers love our regular 'Who're they doin' feature. 22% loves the NFL Haiku recap while 11% loved them all.

Thanks to all of you who voted. With the MLB finals over, check out our new poll as to which of the major sports finals sucked the most in 2007.

Kitna is a funny dude

Detroit Lions quarterback Jon Kitna and his wife dressed up as a naked man and a fast-food drive-through attendant at a teammate's Halloween party, depicting an embarrassing moment for one of the team's assistant coaches. Now Kitna is getting some critisism about this joke. Kitna said he was just trying to have fun, but regrets the scrutiny the costumes created. "If I would've known this, I wouldn't have done it because I didn't want to try to bring attention to it," Kitna said Wednesday while surrounded by reporters and television cameras.

Defensive line coach Joe Cullen was arrested last year and pleaded no contest to disorderly conduct and guilty to impaired driving after police said he was driving nude through a Wendy's drive-through lane, and a week later when they said he was driving under the influence of alcohol.

This costume is killer, but not in the OJ kind of way. It could have been worse. At least Kitna didn't dress up as Korey Stringer and his wife as a cold glass of water.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Who're they doin'

Florida Marlins player Aaron Boone may only be a career .260 hitter, but he made solid contact when he scored this hottie as his wife. Laura Cover was chosen as Playboy's Playmate of the Month in October, 1998 and has appeared in numerous Playboy videos.

I am not sure what attracts bunnies to baseball players. Perhaps it is the tight pants, maybe it's the big paycheque. Whatever it is, if someone could bottle it to sell, men across the world would worship them.