Monday, August 20, 2007

More sports legends slapped with lawsuits

In another bold legal move, Jonathan Lee Riches, the same man who recently filed a lawsuit against Michael Vick for $63,000,000,000 billion has filed two new hand written lawsuits one against Barry Bonds, Bud Selig and Hank Aaron's bat and another one against Joe Montana, Wayne Gretzky, Michael Jordan, Allen Iverson, LeBron James and Mickey Mantle.

The one against Bonds/Selig, filed Aug. 13 by Riches is for "42,000,000 million dollars in Swiss Francs" and alleges that Bonds and Selig are enmeshed in a conspiracy involving steroids to boost TV ratings, according to the complaint filed. This complaint is another must read and you can see it here.

The highlights of the Bond/Selig complaint include:

How Barry Bonds uses Hank Aaron's corked bat during ballgames. And that the bat has a secret chambers where Barry stores his HGH supplements which he takes while he awaits in the batters box.

How Bonds also used the errant bat to crack the Liberty Bell.

How Bonds sold mustard gas to Saddam Hussein as part of the Oil for Food Scandal

The second suit filed on August 17, 2007 against Gretzky et al is for $83 billion dollars and states that all of the figures have cheated the American people and ruined his life. The entire filing can be read here.

Highlights of the complaint include:

How Riches dunked over Jordan in high school and Lebron had someone bust his kneecap and is now causing global warming by driving a Hummer. And that all defendants picked on him in high school, hunt without licenses, put fluoride in the water system and were seen with Iranians.

If you are wondering about who exactly this Jonathan Lee Riches really is and why the other lawsuits filed aren't getting the same publicity as the Vick claim, our good friend at Fick's World has done some digging. Whether this is a bored inmate or a brilliant prank, this is still damn funny. And by funny I mean there is no better use of the US justice system.

1 comment:

yojoe said...

The same inmate who sued Michael Vick for 63 billion dollars has now sued the I-35W Bridge.