Fat dude cries

Japan's sumo Grand Champion Asashoryu, the toughest guy in Japan's toughest sport, is reportedly on the brink of a nervous breakdown, holed up in his apartment fighting back tears and begging he be allowed to go home to his native Mongolia. A few weeks ago, the 26-year-old wrestler won his 21st Emperor's Cup - the coveted prize that hundreds of wrestlers vie for in the six major sumo tournaments held each year.

He has been circled in controversy since he ditched a summer exhibition tournament due to injuries and was later caught on videotape playing in a charity soccer event in Mongolia. The video, which has been shown almost daily for more than a week, showed the burly Asashoryu wearing sunglasses and smiling broadly as he greeted his local fans, and then - appearing quite fit - twisting and turning on an attempted header. The Japan Sumo Association came down hard, slapping him with an unprecedented two-tournament suspension and a 30 per cent cut in pay for four months. Psychiatrist Masaki Honda examined him and said the wrestler was depressed and could be on the brink of a nervous breakdown due to a shock from the punishment. He said the wrestler was barely able to talk, and his trainer said Asashoryu was "holding back tears. He seemed extremely haggard," Asashoryu's trainer, Takasago, told a televised news conference after meeting the disgruntled wrestler. "I've never seen him in such a state before

I am not into watching fat guys in diapers, but apparently for Japanese sports fans, this story is bigger than Bonds and bigger than Beijing. And by bigger, they mean fatter. And by fatter, they mean he hasn't seen his penis in 2 decades.