Monday, June 04, 2007

Tank indulges himself

During his recent 60 day vacation in the slammer, Chicago Bears linesman Tank Johnson consumed $700 worth of junk food. Prison records show that he ordered 162 beef sticks, 40 honey bun sweet rolls, 35 summer sausages, 35 bags of chips, and a wide assortment of candy and baked goods.

Jesus. This reads like David Wells’ pre-diabetes grocery list. No wonder Tank all but asked the NFL commissioner to suspend him. Without a season to prepare for he’ll be able to devote himself entirely to the noble pursuit of twinkies.

1 comment:

Screaming Viking said...

He would eat grossman if he had the chance.