Loren Wade is an idiot

Former Arizona State running back Loren Wade was convicted this month of second-degree murder in the slaying of another ex-Sun Devils football player, who was shot outside a Scottsdale nightclub on March 26, 2005. Prosecutors claimed Falkner, 25, was shot because Wade, 23, saw him talking to his girlfriend. During the more than four-week trial, Deputy Maricopa County Attorney Juan Martinez told jurors that Falkner's death was premeditated murder -- saying Wade first pistol-whipped Falkner, then cocked the gun and fired while Falkner sat in the driver's seat of his car. Defense attorney Ulises Ferragut said Wade only intended to punch Falkner with the gun in his hand and it went off unintentionally. Wade now faces a maximum of 22 years in prison and a tryout with the Bengals.

Does this shit really happen? This plays out like the story line of some ghetto flick. At least it gives me hope that what I see in movies will come true. So tonight when I order pizza, the Swedish delivery girl will let me work off my bill by jackhammering her over the arm of my love seat. And then showing her the door.