Former NBA coke-head kidnapped and beaten

Howard Porter, a failed NBA player who never lived up to they hype after staring for Villanova during college, was found severely beaten after a mysterious disappearance over the weekend.

Porter was drafted by Chicago in 1971 and after his professional career didn't live up to expectations he became addicted to cocaine. He eventually ran out of money and was living on his mother’s couch when he decided to enter rehab. His desires to help junkies put their lives back together led him to become a probation officer.

Police are not saying if this latest brush with death is a result of Porter’s involvement in law enforcement but I’m thinking this is exactly what you can expect when a baller ends up working on the other side of the law.

Shaq’s got a lot to look forward to after this NBA career is done. Hopefully he’s smart enough to realize that he’ll need more than a movie-prop lamp and an oriental rug when he hits the streets to fight crime.