Thursday, March 08, 2007

Forbes ranks people

Forbes magazine rated all of the GM's in the 4 major sports to see who was the pinnacle. General Managers were graded on two things: performance vs. the performance of their predecessor, and payroll relative to the league median when compared to their predecessor. Because winning is more important than payroll, Forbes double-weighted winning percentage to penalize a GM who cut costs but also hurt his team's winning percentage.

The top 5 GM's were:
1. Kevin McHale, Minnesota (NBA)
2. Jay Feaster, Tampa Bay (NHL)
3. Billy King, Philadelphia (NBA)
4. A.J. Smith, San Diego (NFL)
5. Lou Lamoriello, New Jersey (NHL)

Although Forbe's formula has its flaws, the Throwing Smoke team has developed an iron clad formula to rank the top pro athletes in the 4 major sports. The highest score reigned supreme. The formula used is:

annual salary x # of sluts banged
bastard kids x STD's x arrests

Our computers tabulated the results. Our top 5 pro athletes of 2007 are:
1. Derek Jeter, New York (MLB)
2. Vincent Lecavalier, Tampa Bay (NHL)
3. Mike Piazza, Oakland (MLB)*
4. Brian Urlacher, Chicago (NFL)**
5. Shaquille O'Neal, Miama (NBA)***

* sluts includes both men and women
** results tentative until confirmation he didn't get herpes from Paris Hilton
*** even though he is married, he still hits it (according to Kobe anyways). Arrests do not include ones MADE by Shaq

Players who fell off last year’s list include:
Tom Brady for fathering an illegitimate kid;
Michael Vick for creating 2 new STD's in the cesspool he calls a dick

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