Thursday, March 29, 2007

Equine injections

A remote-controlled mechanism with a dozen launching tubes was found buried in the turf at Hong Kong's most famous thoroughbred racetrack last week; it was rigged with compressed air to fire tiny, liquid-filled darts into the bellies of horses at the starting gate. No horses were injured because the supervisor at the Happy Valley Racecourse, where horses have been racing since 1846, noticed something on the turf before racing started last Wednesday. He discovered the mechanism concealed by grass-coloured tape and called in a police bomb squad to remove it. Police officials refused to discuss the device found at Happy Valley, except to say that it was under investigation. One popular theory is that gamblers installed it in an attempt to fix the outcome of races.

Imagine how much money Pete Rose would make betting if he were the manager of the Reds today. He could have a machine like this buried behind home plate to inject HGH into his players. And I don’t think the players would mind. At least the small prick they feel in their ass won’t be coming from Kazuhito Tadano’s unwanted advances.

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