Thursday, March 15, 2007

David Wells kills, then eats wild animals

David Wells returned from his month long African hunting trip and basically treated the entire continent as an all you can eat buffet. "Ostrich was phenomenal. Warthog was outstanding. A little different taste, but it's really good," the Padres' pitcher said recently while recounting his November trip. "Hartebeest, wildebeest, gazelle, all that stuff. Very, very tasty."

Boomer showed no sympathy in devouring a dik-dik (a furry antelope-like creature) saying, "that was probably one of the best-eating things I had. Cute little suckers, too. It's just the zebra you don't want to eat. We shot them for bait. For lions.”

If Boomer can find a way satisfy his thirst for red meat, I don’t understand how there are millions of people starving over there. When Wells finally gives up baseball he should start up a show on the Discovery Channel and call it “Boomer’s Really Wild Kingdom”. Only instead of trying to save the planet, he’ll make his way around the African horn in a dune buggy mounted with a Gatling gun and teach the locals how to hunt. And at night he’ll show them how to party ‘Boomer-style’: lots of broads, lots of booze, and ‘tasty’ endangered animals on the BBQ.

1 comment:

Screaming Viking said...

No doubt Wells also eats the nasty poon anytime he can.