Who're they doin'

Florida Marlins player Aaron Boone may only be a career .260 hitter, but he made solid contact when he scored this hottie as his wife. Laura Cover was chosen as Playboy's Playmate of the Month in October, 1998 and has appeared in numerous Playboy videos.



I am not sure what attracts bunnies to baseball players. Perhaps it is the tight pants, maybe it's the big paycheque. Whatever it is, if someone could bottle it to sell, men across the world would worship them.

Raptors fan is pissed

A disgruntled Toronto Raptors fan who last year paid $120,000 for front-row seats "right next to the coach" has filed a million-dollar lawsuit against the basketball team's parent company after it said it would add a new row of courtside seats in front of his. Mark Michalkoff, president of the Toronto logistics company DLF Solutions Inc., paid a one time fee of $30,000 for a personal-seat license for two "unobstructed VIP seats" to Raptors games. His season tickets, which are sandwiched between the press row and the Raptors' team bench, cost another $90,000. According to the statement of claim, if DLF wanted similar unobstructed seats this year, it would now have to pay $1,650 per seat per game, compared with $915 last year, an 80 per cent increase.

Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment Ltd. recently informed Michalkoff that the company is adding six "team seats" in front of his front-row VIP seats. DLF, which sells and manages company gift card and other incentive programs, has asked for damages of $1.6 million, and a further $20,000 for every Raptors game the company's executives miss beginning with the 2007-08 season.

What a great way to treat fans willing to shell out 6 figures for tickets each year. But if Michalkoff wanted an unobstructed view, I am sure the Raptors will oblige with new seats. And by new seats, I mean they will have him lie down in the key for Bosh to land on his groin after each tomahawk slam.

NFL sued over Pacman

Mere weeks after claiming he’s earned the right to be re-instated to the NFL, Pacman Jones, the Tennessee Titans, and the NFL have been slapped with a civil suit by the bouncer who was paralyzed after the strip club melee involving Jones.

The bouncer told reporters he holds the NFL responsible for his injuries because he believed they ignored Jones' previous run-ins with police. “If Jones had been disciplined earlier, more likely than not, he would not have been invited as NFL player Pacman Jones to the club.”

The NFL and the Titans said they would fight the lawsuit. “We strongly disagree with any claims against the NFL and the Titans and will respond appropriately to the court," NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said. State law protects employers from injury caused by an employee's intentional conduct if the employee is on his own time.

I’m still amazed that no one has figured out who actually shot up the club that night. We know Pacman didn’t do it, but we all know he knows who did it. So why don’t they just cut to the chase and drag him down to Guantanamo Bay and beat the information out of him?

Molitor defends title

The Canadian Kid, Steve Molitor defended his International Boxing Federation junior featherweight championship on Saturday night at Casino Rama with a unanimous 12 round decision over Thailand's Fushang 3K Battery. Battery, formely known as Narongrit Pirang changed his name to promote a sponsor of an Asian company.

No matter how much money they give me, I don't want to go around with a name of a freaking car battery company on my passport. This is the most inane name in sports since Frank White.

Boston wins another title

The Boston Red Sox swept the Colorado Rockies to win the World Series with a 4-3 win over the Colorado Rockies. This is their second title in the last 4 years, after they ended an 86 year draught by beating the St. Louis Cardinals in 2004. ''It doesn't get old,'' manager Terry Francona said.

I feel bad for the Rockies. They were clearly the hottest team in baseball going into the championship, but 9 days without action before the finals easily killed any of their mojo. I hope Michael Vick is taking notice. Because over a year without action will surely make his dick fall off end his NFL career.

NFL Haiku Recap - Week 8

Lions get fifth win
Griese looking like Grossman
4 interceptions

---------------------------

Bengals lose again
Steelers hand them their fifth loss
Pitt. Super Bowl bound?

---------------------------

Titans beat Raiders
Young - 42 yards passing
Double his IQ

---------------------------

Charge over Texans
Huard took beating again
S.D's on fire

---------------------------

Buffalo wins third
Losman in for hurt Edwards
Who will start next week?

---------------------------

New England rapes Skins
52 more points this week
Score more than Wilt did

---------------------------

Rams lose their eight game
Jackson is hurt yet again.
Blew lead to the Browns

---------------------------

Londay rainy day
Giants win muddy match up
Dolphins still winless

---------------------------

Eagles and McNabb
Over the hapless Vikings
Dubbed the Who-Cares Bowl

---------------------------

Manning leads his Colts
in crushing the Panthers team
Beats Unitas mark

---------------------------

Jeff throws his first picks
As his Bucs are nipped by Jags
Jacksonville - dark horse

---------------------------

Brees throws 4 td's
Leads Saints to third victory
Late season charge starts

---------------------------

Throwing Smoke Flashback - Kirk Gibson

With the World Series nearing an end, what better way to celebrate another baseball season then with one of the greatest moments the game has seen. A crippled Kirk Gibson against the filthiest closer in the game at the time, Dennis Eckersley.



This is kind of funny, but eventually they get to the dinger.

Poet's Corner

The NFL makes another bad decision
By keeping the Chargers game in S.D.
With fires still burning,
and people losing homes who had to flee

What this tell is us
The Saints will be suiting up in the Superdome,
Even if a hurricane hits on Saturday
And let the homeless and hungry blacks aimlessly roam.

Keon has firepower

Former NBA player, Keon Clark who was wanted on drug and weapons charges in Illinois was arrested Thursday when U.S. marshals stopped him aboard a commercial bus heading out of Houston. Clark was originally scheduled for trial in August 2006 in Vermilion County in Illinois for possession of marijuana, two counts of possession of a controlled substance and two counts of firearm possession. He also is facing charges of driving with a suspended license, operating an uninsured motor vehicle and DUI.

If it wasn't for Clark being an ex-Raptor, I would have no idea who the hell he was. The reality is this rap sheet reads like the majority of other professional athlete thugs. Only without the bruised skank. Or the precipitation.

Ram smacks wife, gets released

The St. Louis Rams released offensive guard Claude Terrell after he was arrested early Tuesday and charged with assaulting his wife at a suburban Houston hotel. Police in the Houston suburb of Webster said they found a woman with "obvious signs of physical injury" after responding to a disturbance at a Hampton Inn. The woman said she was Terrell's wife and told police he had assaulted her. The 6-foot-2, 330-pound Terrell was found at a nearby hotel, where he was arrested and charged with assault-family violence, a class A misdemeanor, police said. Terrell was on probation from a 2006 assault charge of causing bodily injury to a family member, according to court records. He was given a $1,000 fine and two years of probation for that charge in February.

With all of the wife beating going on in pro-sports lately, you would think they have an incentive clause worked into their contracts. When you breed athletes to play violent games, how can you expect to turn that off when they leave the field. Take Darrent Williams. The guy leaves his gat at home and next thing you know, he's eaten by maggots.

Happy Birthday To Us!!!!!!!

Throwing Smoke is 1 year old! We would love to thank all of our faithful readers. Without the increased support you all have given us over the past 5 months, we wouldn't still be around a year later.
Below, we will highlight some of our most popular posts as well as our own personal favourites.


Most viewed posts:

1. Brazillian soccer hottie Ana Paula Oliveira Playboy Pictures
2. Alex Rodriguez and his cheating ways
3. Amanda Beard's Playboy pictures
4. Allison Stokke looking smoking hot
5. Michael Vick sponsorship issues
6. Shaq's Big Challenge

Our favourite posts:

- FloJo snubbed!
- Bulgarian soccer player loves box
- Maradona is a fat pig
- John Amaechi comes out
- Utah Jazz rape fiasco
- GSK Phoenix of the Sussex soccer prank
- More trouble for Tyson
- Isiah loses his court case
- Paul Tracy can't drive

We hope all of you all have enjoyed reading the blog. We will see how long it will continue!

Weekly Poll Results

When Throwing Smoke readers were asked if expansion out of North America would work:

- 44% said no way, the players can't handle all that travel

- 33% thought the one game a year was good

- 23% think only the NHL would work outside of this continent.

Thanks to all of you who voted. Check out our new poll about what regular feature you have enjoyed about our website over the first year.

Who're they doin'

With baseball season almost over, there is no better time to post pictures of the wife of one of our favourite whipping-boys: Mike Piazza. He has been married to ex-playmate Alicia Rickter for two years. Gay rumours aside, he hit this one out of the park!

Williams Kobes someone

Police announced last Thursday they were investigating allegations made by a woman in her 20's, who claimed she was sexually assaulted by Kings center Justin Williams at his home in the early morning hours of Oct. 12. According to law enforcement sources, the alleged victim said she met Williams and another woman at a party that night and ended up in Williams' North Natomas home. The woman told police that she had a drink at the house and felt woozy, and that Williams and his girlfriend then tried to have sex with her. Williams does not deny that he and his longtime girlfriend had sex with the woman who is accusing him of rape, but he said it was consensual, according to his lawyer.

Charges aside, nothing says love like your girlfriend serving a barely conscious chick to you for a threesome. If Kobe's wife was this understanding she would have had a front row seat to watch her husband doing an anal whore. And probably Kobe would have been willing to pay more than the $4,000,000.

Superbowl Legend falls from grace

Max McGee, the unexpected hero of the first Super Bowl died Saturday after falling from the roof of his home, police confirmed. He was 75. McGee was blowing leaves off the roof when he fell, according to news reports. Efforts to resuscitate McGee were unsuccessful.

What an unfortunate way for a gridiron hero to die. Usually when I hear a story about an athlete dying that involves blowing and leaves, I assume the accident report involves driving drunk, a tree, and a road game bimbo wrapped around some wood.

Morrison cut down

Charlotte Bobcats forward Adam Morrison, an All-American during his career at Gonzaga, is likely done for the season after an MRI exam Sunday revealed a torn ligament in his left knee. The injury occurred in the third quarter of Saturday night's 113-93 exhibition loss to the Los Angeles Lakers. Morrison was trying to defend Luke Walton on a drive to the basket and fell to the floor in pain.

"Our medical staff has had a chance to review the MRI, and they're saying right now they believe there is some sort of tear," Bobcats coach Sam Vincent, a former Sonics player, said Sunday. "Until they get in there and do whatever they do, who knows? But they are saying there's a good chance he will be out for the year. So I'm not counting on him playing."

Morrison's image may have been cute and scored the ladies in college, but he is a pro now. How's he going to explain to his teammates that this injury was caused by his moustache? You can't really expect to bring a big time game when you sport a half-waxed Chihuahua on your upper lip. He may have ended up dead, but at least the stuff Len Bias had under his nose earned him some respect.

Vick gives up on Falcons

It would seem that Michael Vick has accepted the fact he won’t ever return to the Falcons and has therefore put his $4.5M Georgia mansion up for sale. The European-style home features a white, stucco exterior, Cathedral ceilings, eight bedrooms, 8½ baths, two fireplaces, hardwood floors, a two-story foyer and a garage for at least four cars. The home was built in 2004.

Who’s going to be crazy enough to buy Vick’s place? I’ve read enough Stephen King to know that moving into a pet cemetery is a pretty bad idea. Especially one that features pit bulls who were tortured to death. There’s probably so many dead animals buried there I wouldn’t be surprised if the carcass of Bear great Walter Payton turned up.

Boston is father of the year

Former Dolphins wide receiver David Boston was released on $10,000 bail last week after being arrested at his Cooper City home Saturday during a domestic dispute, according to the Broward County Sheriff's Office. Boston was arrested for felony false imprisonment for preventing his wife from calling 911, misdemeanor domestic battery, culpable negligence and resisting an officer without violence. He was released from jail Monday after a bail hearing.

According to the report, the dispute began when Renee Boston took her 2-year-old daughter for a short walk. When she was nearing her house, she saw David Boston in his vehicle pulling out of the driveway, leaving their 1-month-old son alone in the house. Police said Renee Boston was locked out, and she could hear their baby crying inside. She called David, who said he was just driving around the block. When he returned, the couple began to argue. According to police, David Boston became angry and threw a sofa cushion at his wife, hitting her in the face and nearly hitting the baby. When she called 911, he ripped the phone cord from the wall, according to the report. She took herself and her children upstairs, fearing for their safety, the report said.

It is becoming more apparent that Matt Leinart isn't that bad of a father afterall. Even though he probably doesn't know what his kid looks like and couldn't pick him out of a line, it is a lot better then the baby's momma picking him out of one.

How Byrd got Big

After blowing a 3-1 series lead last night with an 11-2 loss to the Red Sox in the ALCS game 7, the Indians have even more controversy to deal with. Before the first pitch, Indians pitcher Paul Byrd acknowledged using human growth hormone for a medical condition, but claims he never injected the banned drug without a doctor's prescription. The San Francisco Chronicle reported Sunday he bought nearly US$25,000 worth of HGH and syringes from 2002-05. The Chronicle, citing an anonymous law enforcement source, said two of Byrd's prescriptions for HGH were not written by a physician.

Standing in front of a media throng outside the Indians' clubhouse, Byrd said he has a pituitary gland condition that required him to take HGH. "I have nothing to hide," Byrd said Sunday about two hours before Game 7 of the AL championship series against the Boston Red Sox. "Everything has been done out in the open. I have a reputation. I do not want the fans of Cleveland or honest, caring people to think that I cheated. Because I didn't."

Yeah, I can also say that all of my medications were prescribed by a doctor. How was I supposed to know that the guy on the subway platform with a stethoscope and a notepad wasn't writing legit prescriptions. He seemed very concerned about my well-being. He kept asking me to bend over and cough even though all I wanted was my damn OxyContin.

Stern doesn't get it

According to a published report, the NBA has disciplined six referees for violating it's anti-gambling rules. Sources told The New York Daily News that the six officials, whose names have not been identified, were found in violation of the league's anti-gambling policy for such infractions as going to casinos. The information came to light as a result of the NBA's investigation into its officials after the Donaghy scandal broke this summer. "Nobody's getting suspended," the source told the paper. "They were reprimanded and punished, but nobody lost their job." "There were some violations," Stern told The New York Daily News, referring to the six. "But they are not hanging crimes."

With the NBA in shambles right now, and more refs breaking league policy, why isn't the league coming down hard on these guys? Rules are rules, yo. No wonder their players are running out of control. This sends the wrong message, like letting Shawn Kemp loose at a sex addicts meeting with a get out of child support free card.

NFL Haiku Recap - Week 7

Didn't have time to see highlights of every game played on Sunday? Check in for our NFL Haiku recap every Monday morning. A 3-hour game summarized in 17 syllables!

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Willis McGahee
Makes return to Buffalo
Bills have last laugh though.

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Detoit beats Bucs
Lions win more than last year
Garcia fumbles

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Pats bitch slap Dolphins
Brady 27 scores
Could beat Manning's mark

-------------------------------

Saints get second win
Powered by Bush - I like Bush
Falcons need Mex back

-------------------------------

Giants kill San Fran
5th straight win for Eli's team
Tiki Barber who?

-------------------------------

Rakers kick wide left
Zona makes tons of mistakes
Skins over the Cards

-------------------------------

Titans blow big lead
Their kicker has 8 field goals
No Young, win with drunk

-------------------------------

KC wins their 4th
LJ back to his old self
Raiders, Dante - done

-------------------------------

Fourth quarter meltdown
Costs Jets win over Bengals
J-E-T-S SUCK

-------------------------------

Boys block kick for score
Vikings complete 6 passes
Blow more than sex boat

-------------------------------

Bears get a huge win
Have McNabb calling Mommy
Hester non-factor

-------------------------------

Seahawks in first now
They rammed it hard to the Rams
Worse than Miami?

-------------------------------

Broncos deliver
Big Ben made bad decisions
Wear helmet next time

-------------------------------

Throwing Smoke Flashback - Steinbrenner and Martin

With the New York Yankee manager situation dominating the week, what better flashback than a classic beer commercial featuring the crazy Georege Steinbrenner and Billy Martin.



This explains why both made worse decisions than a drunk whino during their tenure together.

Poet's Corner

Signs the NFL is getting even more boring,

Any further changes and fans will be snoring.

Controversy, Owens will stop creating

Ocho Cinco to stop celebrating,

Sunday's only excitment will now be church in the morning.

Davenport loves kids

After investigating an early October domestic incident involving Najeh Davenport, the Cleveland Police department announced Friday that domestic violence, endangering children and unlawful restraint charges have been brought against the Pittsburgh Steeler's running back.

Davenport's ex Anita Person said that Davenport was picking up his 5 year old child for a court-approved visit and threatened to keep him. She said Davenport drove off as she unbuckled the child's seatbelt and then slapped and choked her and slammed her to the ground while she held the boy.

I hope Strahan is watching, because this is what is in store for him. If Person is pissed now, wait until she gets home and finds out Davenport dropped a deuce in her closet.

Torre will not re-sign

Joe Torre will not return as manager of the New York Yankees after rejecting a substantial pay cut after the team failed to make it past the first round of the playoffs for the third straight year. Torre turned down a $5 million, one-year contract Thursday -- $2.5 million less than he made last season.
The 67-year-old Torre made his decision after traveling from New York to the team's spring training complex in Tampa, Fla., and meeting with Steinbrenner, the owner's sons and top executives for about an hour. He was accompanied by Cashman and chief operating officer Lonn Trost.

"A difficult day," general manager Brian Cashman said. Torre has scheduled a press conference for 2 p.m. ET Friday.

After being jerked around for 12 years by the Yankees it's amazing that Torre still has some dignity left. Turning down this deal shows he's got as much pride as a pack of lions. Only instead of lounging in the sun and eating raw meat, Torre slept in the dugout during games while Jeter prowled the stands.

Baylor coach pissed off

Eric Schnupp, Baylor's assistant football coach, was cited by police for urinating on the bar at a tavern. He was suspended indefinitely by the school on Tuesday. The incident happened around closing time when Schnupp apparently thought no one was watching him as employees were moving patrons out of the building. Apparently an employee witnessed Schnupp urinating on the bar, and a manager told police officers who were there for an unrelated matter. Schnupp had taken several shots of hard liquor prior to the incident.

What a lame way for a varsity coach to lose his job. If that were me getting fired, you could be damn sure I would be going out in style. And by style, I mean seeing my bare ass on a webcam pounding some freshman slut after I told her it would get her a cheerleading scholarship.

Nascar fans have cooties

This past weekend, a Democratic official suggested staffers get immunized for several diseases before heading south into NASCAR country to conduct research at a pair of races. In an e-mail, a Democratic staffer who works for committee chairman Rep. Bennie Thompson noted an "unusual need for whomever attending to be vaccinated against hepatitis A and B," as well as "the more normal things -- tetanus, diphtheria, and of course, seasonal influenza." The note didn't explain why the committee saw such concern. This message was enough to draw a sarcastic complaint from Republican Rep. Robin Hayes, whose district includes Lowe's Motor Speedway. "I have never heard of immunizations for domestic travel, and ... I feel compelled to ask why the heck the committee feels that immunizations are needed to travel to my hometown," wrote Hayes. "The very idea of immunization is laughable," said Lowe's Motor Speedway President Humpy Wheeler. "It's like taping your ankles to go to the mailbox."

The democratic staffers will probably be safe so long as they're provided with T-shirts that read 'Back-off, I'm not your cousin.' Health officials would be better served trying to get the fans to use some mouthwash and deodorant.

Gators bitten again

A walk-on defensive back for the Florida Gators was killed last week when him and a passenger were riding a motorcycle as it struck a median near campus. Michael Guilford, a 19-year-old redshirt freshman from Quincy, was not wearing a helmet. Neither was passenger Ashley Slonina, a Florida junior from Lynn Haven who also died in the crash.

When Slonina told Guilford he was going to get head that night I bet he never thought it would be courtesy of the pavement. This is quite the surprise though. With all of the Gators having run-ins with the law recently, I would have thought the first one of the year would have been killed holding up a liquor store.

Weekly Poll Results

When asked who would win the World Series, Throwing Smoke readers said:

- 46% - the Rockies are a team of destiny
- 36% - the Tribe will knock off the Red Sox for a finals birth
- 9% each - Arizona or Boston are destined for titles again.

Thanks to all of you who voted. Please check out our new webpoll about European expansion.

NLL is cancelled

The 14 team National Lacrosse League has canceled its season with the passing of a deadline imposed by owners for reaching a new collective bargaining agreement with the Professional Lacrosse Players' Association. Deputy commissioner George Daniel said owners couldn't agree to play in an uncapped system and that a luxury tax system proposed by the players was also unworkable. Under the proposal payrolls would have gone up significantly had the NLL agreed with the PLPA's proposals, and competitive balance would have been eroded, said Daniel. Given that prospect, "We'd rather not be in business at all," he said.

Am I the only one that didn't know this league was still around? Next they'll be telling me that Cart racing still exists.

Who're they doin

New York Rangers' winger Jaromir Jagr has scored a lot during his career. But none can be as sweet as netting Inna Puhajkova. As most of the sites about her are in Czech, we have no clue what she does other than look smoking hot.
We didn't want the site to be blocked by your work firewall, so click here for some more goods.

Jagr shoots, he scores!

Blake soldiers on

Despite being diagnosed with cancer two weeks ago, Toronto Maple Leafs forward Jason Blake scored his first goal of the season over the weekend.

It’s like shades of Saku. And like Koivu, I bet he sleeps with a copy of Lance Armstrong’s “My Journey Back to Life.” Its very presence in your home can cure cancer. I also hear it helps to mask steroids. And to score a date with Sheryl Crow.

OJ feels Vick's pain

Two co-defendants in the O.J. Simpson armed robbery case have struck deals with prosecutors to plead guilty and provide testimony against The Juice. Charles Cashmore and Walter Alexander both participated in the committing of the crime and some witnesses are claiming that Alexander had a gun.

Cashmore’s lawyer said that his client met Simpson and most of the others in the group for the first time minutes before the alleged robbery. "O.J. says, 'Hey I've got to move some stuff, can you help?' “, the lawyer said. “I think he wishes he would have never met O.J."

I know a Brentwood couple who also wish they never met OJ.

Really, how blind to reality do you have to be to agree to participate in a crime with The Juice? Even Orlando Brown would have seen this one coming. OJ’s no criminal mastermind, there’s no way he would have gotten away with another felony. He should have left the table after his lucky hand of four Jewish lawyers and the race card.

Wie's agent resigns

On Monday, Michelle Wie's agent resigned after less than a year on the job. Greg Nared, a former Nike business manager whom the William Morris Agency hired a year ago to manage Wie, resigned as vice president of golf. His announcement came one day after Wie finished 19th in a 20-player field at the Samsung World Championship.

Nared was also involved in the controversy at the Ginn Tribute in South Carolina in the spring, when he was conferring with Wie on the 16th tee moments before she withdrew. Wie was 14 over par through 16 holes when she quit, and it appeared as though she was trying to avoid the LPGA's "Rule 88," in which nonmembers are ineligible for one year if they shoot 88 or higher.

"After careful consideration for my future, I have resigned effective immediately," Nared said in a statement e-mailed to The Associated Press. "I'm very grateful to the William Morris Agency for the opportunity to work with world-class athletes. It has been an invaluable experience and I'll forever cherish [it]."

Nared bailing out as Wie's agent is exactly what Bob Gainey's daughter would have done. Only her ship wasn't sinking.

Mitchell report will expose

It was reported that some officials of the 30-team Major League Baseball conference call held mid-day Friday with the understanding that Senator George Mitchell's report would include many names; names which have so far not been disclosed publicly; and the names of well-known players. Said one source familiar with what was said on the conference call, "This is going to be enormous ... it's going to be a huge story when these names come out." The Mitchell report is due for release sometime between the conclusion of the World Series and the beginning of the new year.

MLB roid users are going to be exposed more than Byron Houston at the height of a bipolar fit. So Canseco better get his second book into print fast before Mitchell steals his thunder. And I hope we don't see David Eckstein's name on that list. It would crush my childhood dreams to find out that his 30 career jacks were a result of him juicing.

At Penn State, RB means raping back

Suspended Penn State running back Austin Scott has been charged with raping a woman at his on-campus apartment after meeting her at a bar. Scott, 22, was arraigned Friday on charges of rape, sexual assault and two counts of aggravated indecent assault, all felonies, in connection with the Oct. 5 encounter. Scott also faces three misdemeanors: two counts of indecent assault and one count of simple assault. He was released on $50,000 unsecured bail and ordered to stay away from the alleged victim.

"The interaction he had with the woman involved was consensual, and we anticipate we will be able to prove that in court," his lawyer, Joseph Amendola, said. "Very optimistic. We're looking forward to the opportunity of establishing his innocence."

To Scott's defense, when a woman agrees to go back to your apartment after a night at the bar, it is the universal sign for let's do it. That is unless you had to drag her there after downing a few roofie-tini's.

NFL Haiku Recap - Week 6

Popcorn was ready
Brady tosses 5 touchdown's
Owens' Boys lost.

-----------------------

Vikings' Peterson
Runs wild versus Chi-Town
Bring back Coach Ditka

-----------------------

Dolphins lose 9th straight
Browns offense looks high octane
Who needs Brady Quinn?

-----------------------

Favre sets new record
This time for interceptions
Pack still gets 5th win

-----------------------

Tony Gonzalez
Sets TD mark for tight ends
Bengals lose their 4th

-----------------------

Eagles beat the Jets
Battle of two 1 win teams
Do we care who won?

-----------------------

Garcia leads Bucs
On last minute drive to win
Young's dumb, strains his quad

-----------------------

Jones-Drew powers Jags
Get 4th win and looking good
Houston back to earth

-----------------------

Testaverde's back
Grandpa leads Panthers to win
Cards looks like old self

-----------------------

LT is back yo
Scored all the Chargers touchdowns
Back in playoff hunt

-----------------------

Saints out of nowhere
Get first win of the season
Hawks - downward spiral

-----------------------

Ravens get 4th win
Over the dreadful Rams team
Change name to bye-week

Steinbrenners are multiplying

With reports of George's failing health, his sons Hank and Hal Steinbrenner have taken over the daily running of the New York Yankees, according to a report. The New York Post said the details about the control of the franchise will be ironed out at top-level meetings the Yankees are holding this week in Tampa.

"George has taken on a role like the chairman of a major corporation," team president Randy Levine told the paper. "He's been saying for years he's wanted to get his sons involved in the family business. Both of them have stepped up and are taking on the day-to-day duties of what's required to run the Yankees."

Hank Steinbrenner said in the interview that he will share final say on team decisions with his brother Hal but Hank will apparently focus more on the baseball side of the business. Hal Steinbrenner will focus more on the construction of the new Yankee Stadium, which is scheduled to open in 2009.

Hopefully the boys have learned what not to do from their crazy dad. Such as considering the hiring and firing Joe Torre 5 times. Or leaving a paper trail when they are going to pay a stripper to get the dirt on A-Rod before his contract negotiations.

Throwing Smoke Flashback - Football fan promotions

Who doesn't love going to a sporting event and hearing their name called for a chance to win a fantastic prize? Sure it all sounds lucrative, until this happens to you in front of thousands of fans. And all you go home with is a lifetime supply of mockery on YouTube.



This clip is from a Toronto Argonauts CFL game in August of this year.

Poet's Corner

Landis is still at it.
Filing his final appeal
With the Court of Arbitration of Sport
The extent this liar will go is unreal.

What does he think,
Every lab and court made a mistake?
He is more annoying
Than a herpes outbreak.

Give back the yellow jersey,
and ride your bike into a pit.
You were caught cheating with steroids,
and turning your sport into shit.

Bush was paid during college

Sports marketer, Lloyd Lake, will give NCAA investigators financial records and other evidence linking Reggie Bush and his family to nearly US$280,000 in benefits, while he was enrolled at the University of Southern California, according to a report Wednesday.

Yahoo! Sports reported it had acquired confidential e-mails from officers of New Era Sports & Entertainment, that show the agency soliciting marketing and memorabilia deals on the running back's behalf, Yahoo! Sports reported. Both Yahoo! Sports and the Los Angeles Times reported Tuesday that Lake is expected to file a civil lawsuit in San Diego against Bush later this month, seeking to recoup money allegedly given to Bush and his family.

If Bush is found to have received improper benefits, USC could be forced to forfeit games. The school could face other sanctions if it's proven that coaches knew or should have known about the alleged benefits. Also, if Bush is found to have broken NCAA rules during his Heisman-winning season, the award could be revoked.

I don't care how great it is, $280,000 is an awful lot of bling to cough up in the hopes of scoring Bush. Granted it's still a lot less than the $19,000,000 it cost Denny Neagle.

NFL head office hates booty

On Inside the NFL Charlie Casserly reported that last week that the NFL sent a memo to all 32 teams informing them home teams can no longer torture the visitors with their smoking hot cheerleaders.

Said Casserly: No longer will [the cheerleaders] be allowed to warm up in front of the visiting team locker room or do their stretching in front of the visiting team locker room and they can't go in the tunnel! The reason? Some players feel they were being a little distracted.

This officially marks the day the NFL got out of control with their rules. Nothing says football like half naked dancing chicks and TD celebrations. Even a Panda bear would agree these are fastly becoming extinct. By week 8, expect the team logo on the 50 yard line to be replaced with Goodell's face. And before the games, instead of the national anthem, all fans will be forced to bow down to his image for a chorus of Sieg Heils.

Golf T-Shirts cause uproar

Jamie Gent, Haslett High School's athletic director, saw something perverted in his girl's golf team recently ordered T-shirts which read "Grip It and Rip It." Gent confiscated the shirts and sent them back to the manufacturer.

Among those baffled by Gent's interpretation was Cathleen McGreal, mother of one of the team members, Shannon McGreal-Miller. In an e-mail message McGreal, an associate professor in MSU's Department of Psychology, wrote: "(The golfers) were under the impression that this was a golf phrase that referred to gripping the golf club and letting the ball sail. We don't want our daughters to be wearing anything that implies a meaning that we don't know about." In a telephone interview, Gent wasn't clear on that point, saying only that "Grip It and Rip It" can be "taken two ways" one of which carries a "sexual connotation."

Call me naive, but I have never heard this term used for anything other than golf. But who knows considering the booze and slut king of the PGA, John Daly, is using this motto on his website,. It's a good thing Gent didn't coach the women's golf team at my high school. There is no way he would have approved their motto of "Get Head for $20"

Happy 18th Birthday Michelle Wie!

We at Throwing Smoke would like to wish the lovely Michelle Wie a happy 18th birthday. 18 is a great year in anyone's life. The time when teenagers become adults. And can now legally sleep with their swing coach.

Owens leaves a note this time

After practice Wednesday, Terrell Owens was no where to be found when reporters came calling. What they did find was the following nearly poster-sized, typewritten note:

"Dear Reporters,
"Due to the magnitude of this week's game and high volume of questions for the Original 81 about the other 81. I will be taking all questions immediately following Sunday's game.
"Sincerely, (followed by Owens' signature)
"p.s. Getcha Popcorn Ready."

The 'Other 81' is referring to the Patriots stud receiver Randy Moss.

But just like you, I was equally as disappointed when I read the message Owens left behind. Ever since last year's pill overdose fiasco, the only note involving T.O. that I want to read is of the suicide variety.

Vick still paying the price

Already facing prison time, disgraced quarterback Michael Vick lost the first round in his financial battle with the Atlanta Falcons when an arbitrator ruled Tuesday that Vick should repay much of the bonus money he got after signing his most recent contract. The Falcons argued that Vick, who pleaded guilty to federal charges for his role in the long-running operation, knew he was in violation of the contract when he signed a 10-year, $130 million deal in December 2004. The team said he used proceeds from the contract to fund his illicit activities and sought the repayment of $19,970,000 in bonuses he was paid over the last three years. The case is far from over. The players' union said it will appeal the ruling.

With the ridiculous amounts of cash Vick has already lost from his sponsorship deals , having to cough up another $20 Million is worse than a dog bite to the nads. Lucky for him, his pending time in the slammer is turning out to be a blessing in diguise. Sure the nightly anal rapings in the shower can't be pleasant, but at least his room and board for the next year won't do further damage on his pocketbook.