Nascar fans have cooties

This past weekend, a Democratic official suggested staffers get immunized for several diseases before heading south into NASCAR country to conduct research at a pair of races. In an e-mail, a Democratic staffer who works for committee chairman Rep. Bennie Thompson noted an "unusual need for whomever attending to be vaccinated against hepatitis A and B," as well as "the more normal things -- tetanus, diphtheria, and of course, seasonal influenza." The note didn't explain why the committee saw such concern. This message was enough to draw a sarcastic complaint from Republican Rep. Robin Hayes, whose district includes Lowe's Motor Speedway. "I have never heard of immunizations for domestic travel, and ... I feel compelled to ask why the heck the committee feels that immunizations are needed to travel to my hometown," wrote Hayes. "The very idea of immunization is laughable," said Lowe's Motor Speedway President Humpy Wheeler. "It's like taping your ankles to go to the mailbox."

The democratic staffers will probably be safe so long as they're provided with T-shirts that read 'Back-off, I'm not your cousin.' Health officials would be better served trying to get the fans to use some mouthwash and deodorant.