The week of the brawl

If there WNBA fight wasn't enough for you this week, here is a minor league baseball fight from this week. The Dayton Dragons vs. Peoria Chiefs video shows some insane action, including a pitcher meaning to throw a ball into a dugout, but instead hit a fan. This is Piston/Pacer style action!

WNBA turning gangsta

Not to be outdone by their male counterparts, there was all out fireworks in last nights LA Sparks/Detroit Shock WNBA game. This is highlighted by Rick Mahorn throwing Lisa Leslie to the floor. I never thought I could get this turned on watching a woman's basketball game. Especially considering it doesn't involve a vat of jello.

Jaguar busted

Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver Matt Jones faces a felony drug charge in his former college town after police say he was inside a car cutting up cocaine with a credit card. Police said they searched the vehicle and found a plastic bag filled with a white substance that tested positive for cocaine and a jar with possible marijuana residue. Police said 6 grams of cocaine was found.

Maybe you’re like me and are saying to yourself “Damn! Another brotha’s going to jail for snorting in his car.” But click on his player profile. What in Jason Williams is going on here?! This can’t be right?! Next thing they’ll be telling us is that the Manning brothers were arrested for gang raping a stripper.

ARod single again

Not that his marriage vows stopped him from playing the field, but this week Alex Rodriguez's wife, Cynthia filed for divorce. Cynthia filed for divorce from A-Rod on the grounds that "the marriage of the parties is irretrievably broken because of the husband's extramarital affairs and other marital misconduct," the lawsuit states.

That "misconduct" presumably includes Alex Rodriguez's relationship with Madonna, which his wife says involves the Jewish mystic philosophy kabbalism -- and the pop star playing the role of teacher to A-Rod, her doe-eyed, "brainwashed" student. A-Rod's obsession with all things Madonna includes listening only to her music while driving, dumping his longtime sports agent for her manager -- a kabbalah practitioner -- and the three of them enjoying private Friday-night Sabbath dinners together, sources have said. All of these things were the last straw for his wife, who has suffered through a string of extramarital affairs by Stray-Rod during their 5½ years of marriage. All of this just months after the couple had their second child together.

We already knew Rodriguez liked slamming she-males, so stuffing Madonna makes total sense. Especially if he's into decrepit mature women. Sleeping with Madonna is only slightly better than Bea Arthur. And by slightly better I mean she doesn't wake him up in the middle of the night to change her diapers.

Vick is broke

Jailbird QB Michael Vick filed for bankruptcy protection while serving time for federal dogfighting charges. It is claimed he owes between US$10 million and $50 million to creditors. Vick filed Chapter 11 papers in U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Newport News on Monday. The seven largest creditors listed in the court papers are owed a total of about $12.8 million. The debt includes part of a signing bonus that the Falcons are seeking to recover, as well as $4.5 million owed to Richmond-based Joel Enterprises Inc., and $550,0000 owed to Radtke Sports Inc. for breach of contract. The suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback ``will seek to rebuild his life and career'' upon his release, according to the filings.

Being in jail is bad enough without have someone else in on his ass. At 3-cents per licence plate, Mexico's got a lot of work ahead of him. Other than Michael Strahan who would have thought that having ferocious bitches on your property would have cost so much.

Rapping Shaq smacks Kobe like the bitch he is

What do you get when you take the Big Aristotle and mix in some alcohol? Yeah, that's right, freestylin' gold.

Clemens is still a cheater

According to reports, alleged steroid abuser Roger Clemens had a decade-long relationship with country star Mindy McCready that began when she was a 15-year-old aspiring singer and the pitcher was a Boston Red Sox ace, the Daily News reported. Clemens was 28 and a married father of two when he first met McCready, the newspaper reported. In its story Monday night, sources told the News that McCready went with Clemens to his hotel room in Fort Myers, Fla., after their first meeting but that they did not have sex. The relationship turned intimate after she later moved to Nashville and became a country star, the paper said.

"I cannot refute anything in the story," McCready told the newspaper in a story posted on its Web site Monday night. "I have known Roger Clemens for a long time," she said, without detailing the nature of their relationship.

Clemens' lawyer, Rusty Hardin, confirmed the pitcher and singer had known each other for a long time but told the newspaper there was no sex.

I would have figured that douchebag was too busy shooting growth hormone into his ass to worry about his dick. And by douchebag, I mean fat pig. And by fat pig I mean statutory rapist. Why can't he just die already?

It's playoff time, baby!

With the NHL playoffs in full effect, below is the TSN Sportscentre top 10 playoff hits. Boo-yeah.

F1 boss loves Nazi Orgies.....but who doesn't?

A 90-second portion of a video showing Formula One boss Max Mosley taking part in S&M games with five prostitutes will be put on a British newspaper's website after Mosley lost an injunction bid Wednesday. The extract comes from a video which formed the basis for a News of the World story last month headlined: "F1 boss has sick Nazi orgy with 5 hookers" and prompted Mosley to launch a legal claim for breach of privacy.

In the entire video, Mosley is with five women in an underground "torture chamber" in Chelsea, where he spent several hours allegedly indulging in sado-masochistic sex. The Oxford-educated former lawyer, who is president of the Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile, re-enacted a concentration camp scene in which he played the role of both guard and inmate. Speaking in German and brandishing a leather whip, he beat the women after allowing himself to be subjected to a humiliating inspection for lice and an interrogation in chains. The News of the World said afterwards that the newspaper would be offering the full footage of the tape to the FIA.

Correct me if I am wrong, but it wasn't like Mosely was seen lighting up his gas oven or anything. What goes on in the bedroom is no one's business other than you and the sluts. Do you honestly think this doesn't go on in Kobe's bedroom? Only less fascism. And more anal.

Sean Avery may pay for things

According to the New York Daily News, Rangers hockey star Sean Avery's name and private cell phone number are in the little black book of Manhattan madam Kristin Davis. Avery, 27, a trash-talking enforcer who has dated a string of models and actresses, is listed as a $500 client of brothel Maison de L'Amour.

Avery denies ever calling that slut and speculated that an adversary used his name and number to book a $500 date through the Maison de L'Amour brothel. Avery said "I certainly have a lot of enemies," and may be considering a lawsuit against the Daily News, according to a 1erson who has spoken with him. "I do know that if I was to venture into one of these establishments, I wouldn't use my real name. I think that would be stating the obvious."

Who really cares if he is paying for hot ass? He just plays hockey in New York state; it isn't like he is the governor. What I am most concerned bout is whether Avery is getting the best bang for his buck. If ass to mouth isn't on the daily menu, he is being ripped off if you ask me.

Daly has his priorities straight

John Daly has been cut loose by one of the game's best swing coaches, Butch Harmon, who said he was not going to waste his time with a two-time major champion who is more interested in drinking than working on his golf game. "My whole goal for him was he's got to show me golf is the most important thing in his life," Harmon said from his golf school in Las Vegas. "And the most important thing in his life is getting drunk."

Daly, playing on a sponsor's exemption, last week, because he no longer has his full PGA Tour card, spent a 2 1/2-hour rain delay during Thursday's first round in a Hooters corporate tent behind the 17th green drinking beer, mingling with fans and signing autographs, including one on the back of a woman's pants. When play resumed, he had Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Jon Gruden caddy for him the rest of the day. Daly ended up with a 77. He followed that with an 80 in the second round to miss the cut.

How could Harmon have expected a different result? Did he even bother to look at Daly's resume? Even my 3 year old daughter knows how to use Wikipedia.

Without a full tour card, I am not sure how Daly is able to support three alimony payments. At least they'll be done in a few years. Right about the time he's found dead, face down in a plate of hot wings.

David Wells has company on the DL (Diabetes List)

Looks like rehab didn’t come early enough in Dmitri Young’s career. And by rehab I mean going cold turkey on the Denny’s buffet. Young, who gained 55 lbs during the off season, showed up to camp weighing 300 lbs and announced he has Type 2 diabetes, the same affliction that Boomer Wells developed after a long career (drinking beer and eating wild animals).

"I'll know when I'm in playing shape," Young was quoted as saying. "That's being able to run and not get gassed, not cramping up. Being able to do everything -- get down on a ground ball, slide, doing everything that's baseball-related and not being fatigued afterwards."

This is a joke right? How can he expect to play baseball when he works up a full sweat putting on his batting helmet? Are the Nats serious about putting him out in the field? Granted he’d probably do a great job of eating up balls hit down the first base line.

Throwing Smoke Flashback - Jennifer Hedger

For all sports fans in Canada, watching Sportscentre at night is a religion. Here is a 6 year old video of SC anchor, Jennifer Hedger, when she appeard on the reality show U8TV: The Lofters. Seeing this give me hope the fantasy I have every night. After announcing the Vancouver Canucks highlights, she will lean over and ram her tongue down Holly Horton's throat!

Look for the return of the Smoke

A lot of people in this world believe in divine intervention. We at the Smoke now count oursevles amongst them after we sent a letter to the Juice and received back an autographed photo. While he is busting his ass hunting for the real killers, we thought it was disgraceful that we were not hard at work bringing our special brand to the world. In the upcoming weeks, look for the return of Throwing Smoke!

Message to our readers

Due to work/family commitments, we're sorry to say that the blog will only be periodically updated at best going forward. These issues are keeping us busier than Graham James in the back of a 1985 Chevy with Theo Fleury. We thank all of our faithful readers over this past year. It has been a blast.

Who're they doin

Jeff Gordan may be in one hell of a chase for Nascar's title, but one race he did win was that to Ingrid Vandebosch's heart. Ingrid is a supermodel and occasional actress, but full time Nascar groupie. She won the Elite Look of the Year Award in 1990.

McFadden rushes for SEC record

Heisman Trophy candidate Darren McFadden ran for an SEC-record 323 yards Saturday night, helping Arkansas to a 48-36 win over No. 23 South Carolina. McFadden ran for a touchdown and also threw for one. "Darren McFadden gave it his all. He is like another Barry Sanders," said Razorbacks coach Houston Nutt, who was on the staff at Oklahoma State when Sanders on the Heisman in 1988. "The bigger the game, the better (McFadden) plays, and that is why he deserves the Heisman."

Running that much in one game a lifetime for some players. To put this into perspective, McFadden ran only 4.8 miles less on Saturday than Ryan Shay did during the Olympic marathon qualifier.

NFL Haiku Recap - Week 9

49ers lose.
Falcons win their second match.
Game fit for the dogs

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Ocho on stretcher
Lynch rushes, passes for scores
Bills at .500

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Lions route Broncos
Detoit are playoff bound?
Cutler hurts his leg

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Young is back at it
Titans win 6th of season
Carr, pass to Smith dude.

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Pack in Arrowhead
Favre has now beat every team
Winning kills the pain

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Peterson's record
296 yards rushing
Vikings shock Chargers

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Saints in contention
Brees lights up Jacksonville Jags
Levies are holding

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Jets still blow johnson's
Washington comes from behind
Not like Kobe does

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Bucs beat Cardinals
Warner was intercepted
On last drive to tie

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Brown's overtime win
Lewis rushed for four touchdowns
Shaun A looks washed up

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4th quarter lead blown
Pats provide Colts their first loss
To meet for title

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Rosenfel's comeback
Leads Texans over Raiders
If you watched you're bored.

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T.O in Philly
His Cowboys smoke the Eagles
Reid's sons love cocaine.

Notre Dame is really bad

The Fighting Irish's season hit a new low on Saturday when Navy finally beat Notre Dame 46-44 in triple overtime on Saturday. This ended the Fighting Irish's NCAA-record winning streak against the Midshipmen at 43 games. Roger Staubach was quarterback for the Midshipmen in 1963 when they beat Notre Dame 35-14. Since then, the Irish have had their way -- that is until Saturday. Only seven times during the streak the Midshipmen had chances to win in the fourth quarter only to be thwarted by bad luck, questionable calls or big plays by the Irish

It's a big win for our program. It's a big win for the academy," Navy coach Paul Johnson said. "I'm happy I don't have to answer anything else about the streak every time we play."

This is a huge slap in the face for Notre Dame, during an already embarrassing year. Though still not as bad as being told by your girlfriend that her box is too sensitive to bang. Forever.

Throwing Smoke Flashback - World Junior 1987 Brawl

This is one of the best hockey brawls of all time. 1987 - World Junior Hockey Championship - Canada vs. USSR. While the Soviets were out of medal contention, Canada was playing for the gold medal, and were leading 4-2 at the time of the brawl. Even had they lost the game, they were assured at least the bronze medal.

It began when Pavel Kostichkin took a two handed slash at Theoren Fleury. The Soviet Union's Evgeny Davydov came off the bench, eventually leading to both benches clearing. The officials, unable to break up the fight, walked off the ice and eventually tried shutting off the arena lights, but the brawl lasted for 20 minutes before the International Ice Hockey Federation declared the game null and void. A 35 minute emergency meeting resulting in the delegates voting 7-1 to disqualify both teams from the tournament, the sole dissenter being Canadian Dennis McDonald. Both teams were also banned from attending the players' banquet at the end of the tournament.



Now that is old time hockey!

Poet's Corner

The wildfires were burning,
And Zumaya's shoulder was churning.
After a box fell on it.
Will miss half the season, quite a bit.
While off Guitar Hero 3 he will be learning.

Hingis loves coke

Martina Hingis, a five-time Grand Slam champion revealed Thursday she tested positive for cocaine at Wimbledon and will retire for a second time rather than fight what she called a "horrendous" accusation. "I am frustrated and angry," the 27-year-old Hingis said at a news conference in Zurich, Switzerland, her voice breaking as she fought back tears. "I believe that I am absolutely, 100 percent innocent." She read a prepared statement ending with the vow, "I have never taken drugs," then left without taking questions.

I don't know if Hingis did blow or not. What I do know is if that test gave a positive result for having a ton of rod in her yapper. Yeah. She's guilty.

Wolverines are thieves

Michigan State football players SirDarean Adams, T.J. Williams and Jeremy Ware have been charged with unarmed robbery at a store. They were arraigned last week in District Court in Mason on a felony robbery charge, according to court records. Williams also was charged with misdemeanor assault and battery in the altercation on April 21.

Isn't this what they call team building excercises? This is exactly like the Utah Jazz rape allegation. Exept they were armed. With 8-inch black pistols.

Weekly Poll Results

In the midst of our 1 year celebration, our readers were asked which regular feature was enjoyed the most.

To no one's surprise, 2/3 of our readers love our regular 'Who're they doin' feature. 22% loves the NFL Haiku recap while 11% loved them all.

Thanks to all of you who voted. With the MLB finals over, check out our new poll as to which of the major sports finals sucked the most in 2007.

Kitna is a funny dude

Detroit Lions quarterback Jon Kitna and his wife dressed up as a naked man and a fast-food drive-through attendant at a teammate's Halloween party, depicting an embarrassing moment for one of the team's assistant coaches. Now Kitna is getting some critisism about this joke. Kitna said he was just trying to have fun, but regrets the scrutiny the costumes created. "If I would've known this, I wouldn't have done it because I didn't want to try to bring attention to it," Kitna said Wednesday while surrounded by reporters and television cameras.

Defensive line coach Joe Cullen was arrested last year and pleaded no contest to disorderly conduct and guilty to impaired driving after police said he was driving nude through a Wendy's drive-through lane, and a week later when they said he was driving under the influence of alcohol.

This costume is killer, but not in the OJ kind of way. It could have been worse. At least Kitna didn't dress up as Korey Stringer and his wife as a cold glass of water.

Who're they doin'

Florida Marlins player Aaron Boone may only be a career .260 hitter, but he made solid contact when he scored this hottie as his wife. Laura Cover was chosen as Playboy's Playmate of the Month in October, 1998 and has appeared in numerous Playboy videos.



I am not sure what attracts bunnies to baseball players. Perhaps it is the tight pants, maybe it's the big paycheque. Whatever it is, if someone could bottle it to sell, men across the world would worship them.

Raptors fan is pissed

A disgruntled Toronto Raptors fan who last year paid $120,000 for front-row seats "right next to the coach" has filed a million-dollar lawsuit against the basketball team's parent company after it said it would add a new row of courtside seats in front of his. Mark Michalkoff, president of the Toronto logistics company DLF Solutions Inc., paid a one time fee of $30,000 for a personal-seat license for two "unobstructed VIP seats" to Raptors games. His season tickets, which are sandwiched between the press row and the Raptors' team bench, cost another $90,000. According to the statement of claim, if DLF wanted similar unobstructed seats this year, it would now have to pay $1,650 per seat per game, compared with $915 last year, an 80 per cent increase.

Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment Ltd. recently informed Michalkoff that the company is adding six "team seats" in front of his front-row VIP seats. DLF, which sells and manages company gift card and other incentive programs, has asked for damages of $1.6 million, and a further $20,000 for every Raptors game the company's executives miss beginning with the 2007-08 season.

What a great way to treat fans willing to shell out 6 figures for tickets each year. But if Michalkoff wanted an unobstructed view, I am sure the Raptors will oblige with new seats. And by new seats, I mean they will have him lie down in the key for Bosh to land on his groin after each tomahawk slam.

NFL sued over Pacman

Mere weeks after claiming he’s earned the right to be re-instated to the NFL, Pacman Jones, the Tennessee Titans, and the NFL have been slapped with a civil suit by the bouncer who was paralyzed after the strip club melee involving Jones.

The bouncer told reporters he holds the NFL responsible for his injuries because he believed they ignored Jones' previous run-ins with police. “If Jones had been disciplined earlier, more likely than not, he would not have been invited as NFL player Pacman Jones to the club.”

The NFL and the Titans said they would fight the lawsuit. “We strongly disagree with any claims against the NFL and the Titans and will respond appropriately to the court," NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said. State law protects employers from injury caused by an employee's intentional conduct if the employee is on his own time.

I’m still amazed that no one has figured out who actually shot up the club that night. We know Pacman didn’t do it, but we all know he knows who did it. So why don’t they just cut to the chase and drag him down to Guantanamo Bay and beat the information out of him?

Molitor defends title

The Canadian Kid, Steve Molitor defended his International Boxing Federation junior featherweight championship on Saturday night at Casino Rama with a unanimous 12 round decision over Thailand's Fushang 3K Battery. Battery, formely known as Narongrit Pirang changed his name to promote a sponsor of an Asian company.

No matter how much money they give me, I don't want to go around with a name of a freaking car battery company on my passport. This is the most inane name in sports since Frank White.

Boston wins another title

The Boston Red Sox swept the Colorado Rockies to win the World Series with a 4-3 win over the Colorado Rockies. This is their second title in the last 4 years, after they ended an 86 year draught by beating the St. Louis Cardinals in 2004. ''It doesn't get old,'' manager Terry Francona said.

I feel bad for the Rockies. They were clearly the hottest team in baseball going into the championship, but 9 days without action before the finals easily killed any of their mojo. I hope Michael Vick is taking notice. Because over a year without action will surely make his dick fall off end his NFL career.