Bruins' Mystery Departure

The Boston Bruins' Phil Kessel has left the team for a non-hockey related injury. We hope he wasn't following in the footsteps of another high draft pick, Alexandre Daigle, and sticking it in a hepatitis-filled Pam Anderson. Phil, just because fellow Bruin Brad Stuart can play one vital organ down, does not make this a contest. Take the example of Jose Theodore and stick to classier broads like Paris Hilton. At least herpes won't cause your liver to fail.

UPDATE: Here at Throwing Smoke, we think a lot of things are a joke, like the American legal system that somehow lets OJ and Jayson Williams walk free, players not keeping it in their pants and lame steroid excuses from 'Cheetahs'. What we do not find funny is cancer. No, this isn't another A-Rod reference. In all sincerity, we would like to wish Phil Kessel all the best in his battle with testicular cancer. Phil, don't worry bra, in no time, you will be back on the road again with the Bruins banging the puck bunnies! Good Luck!