Juan Uribe "innocent"

Juan Uribe is out of legal trouble in the Dominican Republic, but the White Sox shortstop told reporters that he didn't pay off his accuser to get the charges dropped. The Associated Press, citing an anonymous source, reported that Uribe paid $25,500 to settle the case. "I don't pay nobody," Uribe responded. "That's why it took a long time. Pay $25,000? Hell no." A Dominican farmer claimed that Uribe shot him on Oct. 13 when he walked too close to Uribe's jeep following an argument. "The complainant dropped the charges and recognized that Juan was not involved in the incident," lawyer Maria Luisa Guzman told The Associated Press on Monday.

Who the hell started handing out guns to the Latinos? That's all we frigging need. Amigos, you can still get a lot accomplished with a sharpened blade. Ugueth Urbina didn't have any problem using a machete to tame his farm hands.