Devil Rays are the new Bengals

Yesterday, the wife of Tampa Bay Devil Rays rookie outfielder Elijah Dukes filed for a restraining order against her husband and said she fears for her life. NiShea Gilbert, a middle-school teacher, said that Dukes allegedly burst into her classroom at lunchtime in April. A frightened Gilbert then ran to the principal and got a deputy, who banished Dukes from the school. Gilbert told a Florida court that Dukes threatened to kill her and sent her a photo of a handgun to her cell phone. Gilbert played a voice mail allegedly from Dukes for the newspaper. "You dead, dawg. I ain't even [expletive]. Your kids, too."

For a team already harbouring misfits Delmon Young and BJ Upton, you have to wonder what the hell is going on with the Devil Ray’s farm system. It’s time for D-Rays special assistant Fred McGriff – the crime dog, to take a bite out of crime. Sure he may look funny showing up to minor league games in a dog suit and a trench coat, but when he mounts your leg and starts dry humping you into submission you know he means business.