From Bulgaria with Love

I don't have a dish at home, so I don't keep up with the Bulgarian premier soccer league all that much anymore. But I read the other day that club team Litex Lovech has ordered their 19-year old star striker Ivelin Popov to get married. The hope is that by having a steady presence at home it will curtail his wild partying, womanizing, and volatile temperament. I was surprised to see that Popov has actually agreed to the request. And by surprised, I mean I used my telepathic powers to turn his penis into a vagina.

This would never work in the NBA though. It's one thing to ask the players to keep their stash locked in their Escalde. And it's another to tell them to leave their gat at home. But don't derail a brotha's ho train. It's un-American. Like bald-eagle fricassee or the Dixie Chicks.