Throwing Smoke

Throwing Smoke Flashback - Rob Ray beats fan

2009-01-11T10:39:00.001-05:00

When you see hockey now, you start to realize these were the good ole days!

Isiah is all class

2008-10-25T18:38:00.003-04:00

Medics were called early Friday to Thomas' Westchester County home, where police said a 47-year-old man was taken to the hospital and treated for an overdose of sleeping pills. Several media outlets reported that police confirmed it was Thomas who went to the hospital.

But reached on his cell phone Friday, the 47-year-old NBA great told the New York Post he had not been treated for a sleeping pill overdose, and that it was 17-year-old daughter Lauren who had a medical issue. It "wasn't an overdose," he told the newspaper. "My daughter is very down right now. None of us are OK."

A suburban police chief likened the conflicting accounts of an accidental overdose at Isiah Thomas' home to a "cover-up" and rebuked the former New York Knicks coach Saturday for saying it was his teenage daughter who required treatment.

David Hall, Harrison Police Chief stated, "Why they're throwing her under the bus is beyond my ability to understand. It wasn't his daughter. And why they're throwing her under the bus is beyond my ability to understand."

"My cops ... know the difference between a 47-year-old black male and a young black female," Hall said. "These people should learn something from Richard Nixon -- it's not the crime, it's the cover-up," he added.

Isiah, on behalf of all Knicks fans, let me give you this advice - Try Arsenic.

Vince Young personifies sanity

2008-09-09T13:24:00.003-04:00

On Monday night, Metro Police issued a bulletin for officers to be on the lookout for Titans quarterback Vince Young after Coach Jeff Fisher expressed concern about his emotional well being.

“Given the totality of the situation, Coach Fisher was concerned about Young’s emotional well-being. He contacted the police department and expressed to us his concern,’’ Aaron said. “Once he came to Baptist Sports Park and was assessed, it appeared the concerns from earlier in the night were unfounded.’’ According to police, Young left his home abruptly Monday night and sped off without his cell phone. A person at Young’s home contacted Fisher, who then contacted police. After Young eventually made contact with Fisher several hours later, he was told he needed to meet with police. Young had a handgun in the glove compartment of his vehicle, but it was not loaded and Aaron said officers had no concerns about Young trying to harm himself.

When your franchise QB has a mental capicity slightly higher than Corky from Life Goes On, plus a hand gun to boot, that is reason to worry. Even moreso then seeing T.O with a prescription for sleeping pills.

Spanish Team Has Slanted View of Reality

2008-08-15T13:38:00.006-04:00

A promotional photo of the Spanish men's Olympics basketball team, using their index fingers as if to slant their eyes, has sparked controversy with Asian rights groups. News reports on the photo have stirred controversy, particularly outside China. Some have criticized the team for making a racist gesture, an assertion the team denies. Point guard Jose Calderon said a sponsor asked the team "to pose with a 'wink' to our participation in Beijing" and that "we made an Oriental expression with our eye." "We thought it was something appropriate and that it would always be interpreted as somewhat loving. Nevertheless, some of the European media did not see it this way."

Hey, it could have been worse. At least they weren't seen picking lice off of each other's back and tossing bananas as the Americans.

The week of the brawl

2008-07-25T21:38:00.001-04:00

If there WNBA fight wasn't enough for you this week, here is a minor league baseball fight from this week. The Dayton Dragons vs. Peoria Chiefs video shows some insane action, including a pitcher meaning to throw a ball into a dugout, but instead hit a fan. This is Piston/Pacer style action!

WNBA turning gangsta

2008-07-23T11:12:00.002-04:00

Not to be outdone by their male counterparts, there was all out fireworks in last nights LA Sparks/Detroit Shock WNBA game. This is highlighted by Rick Mahorn throwing Lisa Leslie to the floor. I never thought I could get this turned on watching a woman's basketball game. Especially considering it doesn't involve a vat of jello.

Jaguar busted

2008-07-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver Matt Jones faces a felony drug charge in his former college town after police say he was inside a car cutting up cocaine with a credit card. Police said they searched the vehicle and found a plastic bag filled with a white substance that tested positive for cocaine and a jar with possible marijuana residue. Police said 6 grams of cocaine was found.

Maybe you’re like me and are saying to yourself “Damn! Another brotha’s going to jail for snorting in his car.” But click on his player profile. What in Jason Williams is going on here?! This can’t be right?! Next thing they’ll be telling us is that the Manning brothers were arrested for gang raping a stripper.

ARod single again

2008-07-10T07:12:00.007-04:00

Not that his marriage vows stopped him from playing the field, but this week Alex Rodriguez's wife, Cynthia filed for divorce. Cynthia filed for divorce from A-Rod on the grounds that "the marriage of the parties is irretrievably broken because of the husband's extramarital affairs and other marital misconduct," the lawsuit states.

That "misconduct" presumably includes Alex Rodriguez's relationship with Madonna, which his wife says involves the Jewish mystic philosophy kabbalism -- and the pop star playing the role of teacher to A-Rod, her doe-eyed, "brainwashed" student. A-Rod's obsession with all things Madonna includes listening only to her music while driving, dumping his longtime sports agent for her manager -- a kabbalah practitioner -- and the three of them enjoying private Friday-night Sabbath dinners together, sources have said. All of these things were the last straw for his wife, who has suffered through a string of extramarital affairs by Stray-Rod during their 5½ years of marriage. All of this just months after the couple had their second child together.

We already knew Rodriguez liked slamming she-males, so stuffing Madonna makes total sense. Especially if he's into ~~decrepit~~ mature women. Sleeping with Madonna is only slightly better than Bea Arthur. And by slightly better I mean she doesn't wake him up in the middle of the night to change her diapers.

Vick is broke

2008-07-08T12:27:00.008-04:00

Jailbird QB Michael Vick filed for bankruptcy protection while serving time for federal dogfighting charges. It is claimed he owes between US$10 million and $50 million to creditors. Vick filed Chapter 11 papers in U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Newport News on Monday. The seven largest creditors listed in the court papers are owed a total of about $12.8 million. The debt includes part of a signing bonus that the Falcons are seeking to recover, as well as $4.5 million owed to Richmond-based Joel Enterprises Inc., and $550,0000 owed to Radtke Sports Inc. for breach of contract. The suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback ``will seek to rebuild his life and career'' upon his release, according to the filings.

Being in jail is bad enough without have someone else in on his ass. At 3-cents per licence plate, Mexico's got a lot of work ahead of him. Other than Michael Strahan who would have thought that having ferocious bitches on your property would have cost so much.

Rapping Shaq smacks Kobe like the bitch he is

2008-06-28T18:44:00.002-04:00

What do you get when you take the Big Aristotle and mix in some alcohol? Yeah, that's right, freestylin' gold.

Clemens is still a cheater

2008-04-29T21:52:00.005-04:00

According to reports, alleged steroid abuser Roger Clemens had a decade-long relationship with country star Mindy McCready that began when she was a 15-year-old aspiring singer and the pitcher was a Boston Red Sox ace, the Daily News reported. Clemens was 28 and a married father of two when he first met McCready, the newspaper reported. In its story Monday night, sources told the News that McCready went with Clemens to his hotel room in Fort Myers, Fla., after their first meeting but that they did not have sex. The relationship turned intimate after she later moved to Nashville and became a country star, the paper said.

"I cannot refute anything in the story," McCready told the newspaper in a story posted on its Web site Monday night. "I have known Roger Clemens for a long time," she said, without detailing the nature of their relationship.

Clemens' lawyer, Rusty Hardin, confirmed the pitcher and singer had known each other for a long time but told the newspaper there was no sex.

I would have figured that douchebag was too busy shooting growth hormone into his ass to worry about his dick. And by douchebag, I mean fat pig. And by fat pig I mean statutory rapist. Why can't he just die already?

It's playoff time, baby!

2008-04-18T12:44:00.001-04:00

With the NHL playoffs in full effect, below is the TSN Sportscentre top 10 playoff hits. Boo-yeah.

F1 boss loves Nazi Orgies.....but who doesn't?

2008-04-11T12:42:00.007-04:00

A 90-second portion of a video showing Formula One boss Max Mosley taking part in S&M games with five prostitutes will be put on a British newspaper's website after Mosley lost an injunction bid Wednesday. The extract comes from a video which formed the basis for a News of the World story last month headlined: "F1 boss has sick Nazi orgy with 5 hookers" and prompted Mosley to launch a legal claim for breach of privacy.

In the entire video, Mosley is with five women in an underground "torture chamber" in Chelsea, where he spent several hours allegedly indulging in sado-masochistic sex. The Oxford-educated former lawyer, who is president of the Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile, re-enacted a concentration camp scene in which he played the role of both guard and inmate. Speaking in German and brandishing a leather whip, he beat the women after allowing himself to be subjected to a humiliating inspection for lice and an interrogation in chains. The News of the World said afterwards that the newspaper would be offering the full footage of the tape to the FIA.

Correct me if I am wrong, but it wasn't like Mosely was seen lighting up his gas oven or anything. What goes on in the bedroom is no one's business other than you and the sluts. Do you honestly think this doesn't go on in Kobe's bedroom? Only less fascism. And more anal.

Sean Avery may pay for things

2008-04-02T04:20:00.000-04:00

According to the New York Daily News, Rangers hockey star Sean Avery's name and private cell phone number are in the little black book of Manhattan madam Kristin Davis. Avery, 27, a trash-talking enforcer who has dated a string of models and actresses, is listed as a $500 client of brothel Maison de L'Amour.

Avery denies ever calling that slut and speculated that an adversary used his name and number to book a $500 date through the Maison de L'Amour brothel. Avery said "I certainly have a lot of enemies," and may be considering a lawsuit against the Daily News, according to a 1erson who has spoken with him. "I do know that if I was to venture into one of these establishments, I wouldn't use my real name. I think that would be stating the obvious."

Who really cares if he is paying for hot ass? He just plays hockey in New York state; it isn't like he is the governor. What I am most concerned bout is whether Avery is getting the best bang for his buck. If ass to mouth isn't on the daily menu, he is being ripped off if you ask me.

Daly has his priorities straight

2008-03-16T09:41:00.007-04:00

John Daly has been cut loose by one of the game's best swing coaches, Butch Harmon, who said he was not going to waste his time with a two-time major champion who is more interested in drinking than working on his golf game. "My whole goal for him was he's got to show me golf is the most important thing in his life," Harmon said from his golf school in Las Vegas. "And the most important thing in his life is getting drunk."

Daly, playing on a sponsor's exemption, last week, because he no longer has his full PGA Tour card, spent a 2 1/2-hour rain delay during Thursday's first round in a Hooters corporate tent behind the 17th green drinking beer, mingling with fans and signing autographs, including one on the back of a woman's pants. When play resumed, he had Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Jon Gruden caddy for him the rest of the day. Daly ended up with a 77. He followed that with an 80 in the second round to miss the cut.

How could Harmon have expected a different result? Did he even bother to look at Daly's resume? Even my 3 year old daughter knows how to use Wikipedia.

Without a full tour card, I am not sure how Daly is able to support three alimony payments. At least they'll be done in a few years. Right about the time he's found dead, face down in a plate of hot wings.

David Wells has company on the DL (Diabetes List)

2008-03-11T17:47:00.004-04:00

Looks like rehab didn’t come early enough in Dmitri Young’s career. And by rehab I mean going cold turkey on the Denny’s buffet. Young, who gained 55 lbs during the off season, showed up to camp weighing 300 lbs and announced he has Type 2 diabetes, the same affliction that Boomer Wells developed after a long career (drinking beer and eating wild animals).

"I'll know when I'm in playing shape," Young was quoted as saying. "That's being able to run and not get gassed, not cramping up. Being able to do everything -- get down on a ground ball, slide, doing everything that's baseball-related and not being fatigued afterwards."

This is a joke right? How can he expect to play baseball when he works up a full sweat putting on his batting helmet? Are the Nats serious about putting him out in the field? Granted he’d probably do a great job of eating up balls hit down the first base line.

Throwing Smoke Flashback - Jennifer Hedger

2008-03-08T09:39:00.003-05:00

For all sports fans in Canada, watching Sportscentre at night is a religion. Here is a 6 year old video of SC anchor, Jennifer Hedger, when she appeard on the reality show U8TV: The Lofters. Seeing this give me hope the fantasy I have every night. After announcing the Vancouver Canucks highlights, she will lean over and ram her tongue down Holly Horton's throat!

Look for the return of the Smoke

2008-03-06T13:59:00.003-05:00

A lot of people in this world believe in divine intervention. We at the Smoke now count oursevles amongst them after we sent a letter to the Juice and received back an autographed photo. While he is busting his ass hunting for the real killers, we thought it was disgraceful that we were not hard at work bringing our special brand to the world. In the upcoming weeks, look for the return of Throwing Smoke!

Message to our readers

2007-11-08T13:16:00.000-05:00

Due to work/family commitments, we're sorry to say that the blog will only be periodically updated at best going forward. These issues are keeping us busier than Graham James in the back of a 1985 Chevy with Theo Fleury. We thank all of our faithful readers over this past year. It has been a blast.

Who're they doin

2007-11-07T08:50:00.001-05:00

Jeff Gordan may be in one hell of a chase for Nascar's title, but one race he did win was that to Ingrid Vandebosch's heart. Ingrid is a supermodel and occasional actress, but full time Nascar groupie. She won the Elite Look of the Year Award in 1990.

McFadden rushes for SEC record

2007-11-06T04:15:00.000-05:00

Heisman Trophy candidate Darren McFadden ran for an SEC-record 323 yards Saturday night, helping Arkansas to a 48-36 win over No. 23 South Carolina. McFadden ran for a touchdown and also threw for one. "Darren McFadden gave it his all. He is like another Barry Sanders," said Razorbacks coach Houston Nutt, who was on the staff at Oklahoma State when Sanders on the Heisman in 1988. "The bigger the game, the better (McFadden) plays, and that is why he deserves the Heisman."

Running that much in one game a lifetime for some players. To put this into perspective, McFadden ran only 4.8 miles less on Saturday than Ryan Shay did during the Olympic marathon qualifier.

NFL Haiku Recap - Week 9

2007-11-05T05:27:00.000-05:00

49ers lose.
Falcons win their second match.
Game fit for the dogs

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Ocho on stretcher
Lynch rushes, passes for scores
Bills at .500

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Lions route Broncos
Detoit are playoff bound?
Cutler hurts his leg

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Young is back at it
Titans win 6th of season
Carr, pass to Smith dude.

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Pack in Arrowhead
Favre has now beat every team
Winning kills the pain

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Peterson's record
296 yards rushing
Vikings shock Chargers

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Saints in contention
Brees lights up Jacksonville Jags
Levies are holding

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Jets still blow johnson's
Washington comes from behind
Not like Kobe does

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Bucs beat Cardinals
Warner was intercepted
On last drive to tie

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Brown's overtime win
Lewis rushed for four touchdowns
Shaun A looks washed up

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4th quarter lead blown
Pats provide Colts their first loss
To meet for title

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Rosenfel's comeback
Leads Texans over Raiders
If you watched you're bored.

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T.O in Philly
His Cowboys smoke the Eagles
Reid's sons love cocaine.

Notre Dame is really bad

2007-11-05T04:19:00.000-05:00

The Fighting Irish's season hit a new low on Saturday when Navy finally beat Notre Dame 46-44 in triple overtime on Saturday. This ended the Fighting Irish's NCAA-record winning streak against the Midshipmen at 43 games. Roger Staubach was quarterback for the Midshipmen in 1963 when they beat Notre Dame 35-14. Since then, the Irish have had their way -- that is until Saturday. Only seven times during the streak the Midshipmen had chances to win in the fourth quarter only to be thwarted by bad luck, questionable calls or big plays by the Irish

It's a big win for our program. It's a big win for the academy," Navy coach Paul Johnson said. "I'm happy I don't have to answer anything else about the streak every time we play."

This is a huge slap in the face for Notre Dame, during an already embarrassing year. Though still not as bad as being told by your girlfriend that her box is too sensitive to bang. Forever.

Throwing Smoke Flashback - World Junior 1987 Brawl

2007-11-04T22:38:00.000-05:00

This is one of the best hockey brawls of all time. 1987 - World Junior Hockey Championship - Canada vs. USSR. While the Soviets were out of medal contention, Canada was playing for the gold medal, and were leading 4-2 at the time of the brawl. Even had they lost the game, they were assured at least the bronze medal.

It began when Pavel Kostichkin took a two handed slash at Theoren Fleury. The Soviet Union's Evgeny Davydov came off the bench, eventually leading to both benches clearing. The officials, unable to break up the fight, walked off the ice and eventually tried shutting off the arena lights, but the brawl lasted for 20 minutes before the International Ice Hockey Federation declared the game null and void. A 35 minute emergency meeting resulting in the delegates voting 7-1 to disqualify both teams from the tournament, the sole dissenter being Canadian Dennis McDonald. Both teams were also banned from attending the players' banquet at the end of the tournament.

Now that is old time hockey!

Poet's Corner

2007-11-03T20:45:00.000-04:00

The wildfires were burning,
And Zumaya's shoulder was churning.
After a box fell on it.
Will miss half the season, quite a bit.
While off Guitar Hero 3 he will be learning.

Hingis loves coke

2007-11-02T08:08:00.000-04:00

Martina Hingis, a five-time Grand Slam champion revealed Thursday she tested positive for cocaine at Wimbledon and will retire for a second time rather than fight what she called a "horrendous" accusation. "I am frustrated and angry," the 27-year-old Hingis said at a news conference in Zurich, Switzerland, her voice breaking as she fought back tears. "I believe that I am absolutely, 100 percent innocent." She read a prepared statement ending with the vow, "I have never taken drugs," then left without taking questions.

I don't know if Hingis did blow or not. What I do know is if that test gave a positive result for having a ton of rod in her yapper. Yeah. She's guilty.

Wolverines are thieves

2007-11-02T07:10:00.000-04:00

Michigan State football players SirDarean Adams, T.J. Williams and Jeremy Ware have been charged with unarmed robbery at a store. They were arraigned last week in District Court in Mason on a felony robbery charge, according to court records. Williams also was charged with misdemeanor assault and battery in the altercation on April 21.

Isn't this what they call team building excercises? This is exactly like the Utah Jazz rape allegation. Exept they were armed. With 8-inch black pistols.

Weekly Poll Results

2007-11-01T15:03:00.000-04:00

In the midst of our 1 year celebration, our readers were asked which regular feature was enjoyed the most.

To no one's surprise, 2/3 of our readers love our regular 'Who're they doin' feature. 22% loves the NFL Haiku recap while 11% loved them all.

Thanks to all of you who voted. With the MLB finals over, check out our new poll as to which of the major sports finals sucked the most in 2007.

Kitna is a funny dude

2007-11-01T09:10:00.000-04:00

Detroit Lions quarterback Jon Kitna and his wife dressed up as a naked man and a fast-food drive-through attendant at a teammate's Halloween party, depicting an embarrassing moment for one of the team's assistant coaches. Now Kitna is getting some critisism about this joke. Kitna said he was just trying to have fun, but regrets the scrutiny the costumes created. "If I would've known this, I wouldn't have done it because I didn't want to try to bring attention to it," Kitna said Wednesday while surrounded by reporters and television cameras.

Defensive line coach Joe Cullen was arrested last year and pleaded no contest to disorderly conduct and guilty to impaired driving after police said he was driving nude through a Wendy's drive-through lane, and a week later when they said he was driving under the influence of alcohol.

This costume is killer, but not in the OJ kind of way. It could have been worse. At least Kitna didn't dress up as Korey Stringer and his wife as a cold glass of water.

Who're they doin'

2007-10-31T10:20:00.000-04:00

Florida Marlins player Aaron Boone may only be a career .260 hitter, but he made solid contact when he scored this hottie as his wife. Laura Cover was chosen as Playboy's Playmate of the Month in October, 1998 and has appeared in numerous Playboy videos.

I am not sure what attracts bunnies to baseball players. Perhaps it is the tight pants, maybe it's the big paycheque. Whatever it is, if someone could bottle it to sell, men across the world would worship them.

Raptors fan is pissed

2007-10-31T10:06:00.000-04:00

A disgruntled Toronto Raptors fan who last year paid $120,000 for front-row seats "right next to the coach" has filed a million-dollar lawsuit against the basketball team's parent company after it said it would add a new row of courtside seats in front of his. Mark Michalkoff, president of the Toronto logistics company DLF Solutions Inc., paid a one time fee of $30,000 for a personal-seat license for two "unobstructed VIP seats" to Raptors games. His season tickets, which are sandwiched between the press row and the Raptors' team bench, cost another $90,000. According to the statement of claim, if DLF wanted similar unobstructed seats this year, it would now have to pay $1,650 per seat per game, compared with $915 last year, an 80 per cent increase.

Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment Ltd. recently informed Michalkoff that the company is adding six "team seats" in front of his front-row VIP seats. DLF, which sells and manages company gift card and other incentive programs, has asked for damages of $1.6 million, and a further $20,000 for every Raptors game the company's executives miss beginning with the 2007-08 season.

What a great way to treat fans willing to shell out 6 figures for tickets each year. But if Michalkoff wanted an unobstructed view, I am sure the Raptors will oblige with new seats. And by new seats, I mean they will have him lie down in the key for Bosh to land on his groin after each tomahawk slam.

NFL sued over Pacman

2007-10-30T10:22:00.000-04:00

Mere weeks after claiming he’s earned the right to be re-instated to the NFL, Pacman Jones, the Tennessee Titans, and the NFL have been slapped with a civil suit by the bouncer who was paralyzed after the strip club melee involving Jones.

The bouncer told reporters he holds the NFL responsible for his injuries because he believed they ignored Jones' previous run-ins with police. “If Jones had been disciplined earlier, more likely than not, he would not have been invited as NFL player Pacman Jones to the club.”

The NFL and the Titans said they would fight the lawsuit. “We strongly disagree with any claims against the NFL and the Titans and will respond appropriately to the court," NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said. State law protects employers from injury caused by an employee's intentional conduct if the employee is on his own time.

I’m still amazed that no one has figured out who actually shot up the club that night. We know Pacman didn’t do it, but we all know he knows who did it. So why don’t they just cut to the chase and drag him down to Guantanamo Bay and beat the information out of him?

Molitor defends title

2007-10-30T09:25:00.000-04:00

The Canadian Kid, Steve Molitor defended his International Boxing Federation junior featherweight championship on Saturday night at Casino Rama with a unanimous 12 round decision over Thailand's Fushang 3K Battery. Battery, formely known as Narongrit Pirang changed his name to promote a sponsor of an Asian company.

No matter how much money they give me, I don't want to go around with a name of a freaking car battery company on my passport. This is the most inane name in sports since Frank White.

Boston wins another title

2007-10-29T10:11:00.000-04:00

The Boston Red Sox swept the Colorado Rockies to win the World Series with a 4-3 win over the Colorado Rockies. This is their second title in the last 4 years, after they ended an 86 year draught by beating the St. Louis Cardinals in 2004. ''It doesn't get old,'' manager Terry Francona said.

I feel bad for the Rockies. They were clearly the hottest team in baseball going into the championship, but 9 days without action before the finals easily killed any of their mojo. I hope Michael Vick is taking notice. Because over a year without action will surely ~~make his dick fall off~~ end his NFL career.

NFL Haiku Recap - Week 8

2007-10-29T07:23:00.000-04:00

Lions get fifth win
Griese looking like Grossman
4 interceptions

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Bengals lose again
Steelers hand them their fifth loss
Pitt. Super Bowl bound?

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Titans beat Raiders
Young - 42 yards passing
Double his IQ

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Charge over Texans
Huard took beating again
S.D's on fire

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Buffalo wins third
Losman in for hurt Edwards
Who will start next week?

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New England rapes Skins
52 more points this week
Score more than Wilt did

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Rams lose their eight game
Jackson is hurt yet again.
Blew lead to the Browns

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Londay rainy day
Giants win muddy match up
Dolphins still winless

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Eagles and McNabb
Over the hapless Vikings
Dubbed the Who-Cares Bowl

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Manning leads his Colts
in crushing the Panthers team
Beats Unitas mark

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Jeff throws his first picks
As his Bucs are nipped by Jags
Jacksonville - dark horse

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Brees throws 4 td's
Leads Saints to third victory
Late season charge starts

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Throwing Smoke Flashback - Kirk Gibson

2007-10-28T15:19:00.000-04:00

With the World Series nearing an end, what better way to celebrate another baseball season then with one of the greatest moments the game has seen. A crippled Kirk Gibson against the filthiest closer in the game at the time, Dennis Eckersley.

This is kind of funny, but eventually they get to the dinger.

Poet's Corner

2007-10-27T15:55:00.000-04:00

The NFL makes another bad decision
By keeping the Chargers game in S.D.
With fires still burning,
and people losing homes who had to flee

What this tell is us
The Saints will be suiting up in the Superdome,
Even if a hurricane hits on Saturday
And let the homeless and hungry blacks aimlessly roam.

Keon has firepower

2007-10-26T14:44:00.000-04:00

Former NBA player, Keon Clark who was wanted on drug and weapons charges in Illinois was arrested Thursday when U.S. marshals stopped him aboard a commercial bus heading out of Houston. Clark was originally scheduled for trial in August 2006 in Vermilion County in Illinois for possession of marijuana, two counts of possession of a controlled substance and two counts of firearm possession. He also is facing charges of driving with a suspended license, operating an uninsured motor vehicle and DUI.

If it wasn't for Clark being an ex-Raptor, I would have no idea who the hell he was. The reality is this rap sheet reads like the majority of other professional athlete thugs. Only without the bruised skank. Or the precipitation.

Ram smacks wife, gets released

2007-10-26T09:32:00.000-04:00

The St. Louis Rams released offensive guard Claude Terrell after he was arrested early Tuesday and charged with assaulting his wife at a suburban Houston hotel. Police in the Houston suburb of Webster said they found a woman with "obvious signs of physical injury" after responding to a disturbance at a Hampton Inn. The woman said she was Terrell's wife and told police he had assaulted her. The 6-foot-2, 330-pound Terrell was found at a nearby hotel, where he was arrested and charged with assault-family violence, a class A misdemeanor, police said. Terrell was on probation from a 2006 assault charge of causing bodily injury to a family member, according to court records. He was given a $1,000 fine and two years of probation for that charge in February.

With all of the wife beating going on in pro-sports lately, you would think they have an incentive clause worked into their contracts. When you breed athletes to play violent games, how can you expect to turn that off when they leave the field. Take Darrent Williams. The guy leaves his gat at home and next thing you know, he's eaten by maggots.

Happy Birthday To Us!!!!!!!

2007-10-25T09:48:00.000-04:00

Throwing Smoke is 1 year old! We would love to thank all of our faithful readers. Without the increased support you all have given us over the past 5 months, we wouldn't still be around a year later.
Below, we will highlight some of our most popular posts as well as our own personal favourites.

Most viewed posts:

1. Brazillian soccer hottie Ana Paula Oliveira Playboy Pictures
2. Alex Rodriguez and his cheating ways
3. Amanda Beard's Playboy pictures
4. Allison Stokke looking smoking hot
5. Michael Vick sponsorship issues
6. Shaq's Big Challenge

Our favourite posts:

- FloJo snubbed!
- Bulgarian soccer player loves box
- Maradona is a fat pig
- John Amaechi comes out
- Utah Jazz rape fiasco
- GSK Phoenix of the Sussex soccer prank
- More trouble for Tyson
- Isiah loses his court case
- Paul Tracy can't drive

We hope all of you all have enjoyed reading the blog. We will see how long it will continue!

Weekly Poll Results

2007-10-25T01:59:00.000-04:00

When Throwing Smoke readers were asked if expansion out of North America would work:

- 44% said no way, the players can't handle all that travel

- 33% thought the one game a year was good

- 23% think only the NHL would work outside of this continent.

Thanks to all of you who voted. Check out our new poll about what regular feature you have enjoyed about our website over the first year.

Who're they doin'

2007-10-24T12:58:00.000-04:00

With baseball season almost over, there is no better time to post pictures of the wife of one of our favourite whipping-boys: Mike Piazza. He has been married to ex-playmate Alicia Rickter for two years. Gay rumours aside, he hit this one out of the park!

Williams Kobes someone

2007-10-24T02:47:00.000-04:00

Police announced last Thursday they were investigating allegations made by a woman in her 20's, who claimed she was sexually assaulted by Kings center Justin Williams at his home in the early morning hours of Oct. 12. According to law enforcement sources, the alleged victim said she met Williams and another woman at a party that night and ended up in Williams' North Natomas home. The woman told police that she had a drink at the house and felt woozy, and that Williams and his girlfriend then tried to have sex with her. Williams does not deny that he and his longtime girlfriend had sex with the woman who is accusing him of rape, but he said it was consensual, according to his lawyer.

Charges aside, nothing says love like your girlfriend serving a barely conscious chick to you for a threesome. If Kobe's wife was this understanding she would have had a front row seat to watch her husband doing an anal whore. And probably Kobe would have been willing to pay more than the $4,000,000.

Superbowl Legend falls from grace

2007-10-24T00:17:00.000-04:00

Max McGee, the unexpected hero of the first Super Bowl died Saturday after falling from the roof of his home, police confirmed. He was 75. McGee was blowing leaves off the roof when he fell, according to news reports. Efforts to resuscitate McGee were unsuccessful.

What an unfortunate way for a gridiron hero to die. Usually when I hear a story about an athlete dying that involves blowing and leaves, I assume the accident report involves driving drunk, a tree, and a road game bimbo wrapped around some wood.

Morrison cut down

2007-10-23T13:09:00.000-04:00

Charlotte Bobcats forward Adam Morrison, an All-American during his career at Gonzaga, is likely done for the season after an MRI exam Sunday revealed a torn ligament in his left knee. The injury occurred in the third quarter of Saturday night's 113-93 exhibition loss to the Los Angeles Lakers. Morrison was trying to defend Luke Walton on a drive to the basket and fell to the floor in pain.

"Our medical staff has had a chance to review the MRI, and they're saying right now they believe there is some sort of tear," Bobcats coach Sam Vincent, a former Sonics player, said Sunday. "Until they get in there and do whatever they do, who knows? But they are saying there's a good chance he will be out for the year. So I'm not counting on him playing."

Morrison's image may have been cute and scored the ladies in college, but he is a pro now. How's he going to explain to his teammates that this injury was caused by his moustache? You can't really expect to bring a big time game when you sport a half-waxed Chihuahua on your upper lip. He may have ended up dead, but at least the stuff Len Bias had under his nose earned him some respect.

Vick gives up on Falcons

2007-10-23T10:32:00.000-04:00

It would seem that Michael Vick has accepted the fact he won’t ever return to the Falcons and has therefore put his $4.5M Georgia mansion up for sale. The European-style home features a white, stucco exterior, Cathedral ceilings, eight bedrooms, 8½ baths, two fireplaces, hardwood floors, a two-story foyer and a garage for at least four cars. The home was built in 2004.

Who’s going to be crazy enough to buy Vick’s place? I’ve read enough Stephen King to know that moving into a pet cemetery is a pretty bad idea. Especially one that features pit bulls who were tortured to death. There’s probably so many dead animals buried there I wouldn’t be surprised if the carcass of Bear great Walter Payton turned up.

Boston is father of the year

2007-10-23T02:40:00.000-04:00

Former Dolphins wide receiver David Boston was released on $10,000 bail last week after being arrested at his Cooper City home Saturday during a domestic dispute, according to the Broward County Sheriff's Office. Boston was arrested for felony false imprisonment for preventing his wife from calling 911, misdemeanor domestic battery, culpable negligence and resisting an officer without violence. He was released from jail Monday after a bail hearing.

According to the report, the dispute began when Renee Boston took her 2-year-old daughter for a short walk. When she was nearing her house, she saw David Boston in his vehicle pulling out of the driveway, leaving their 1-month-old son alone in the house. Police said Renee Boston was locked out, and she could hear their baby crying inside. She called David, who said he was just driving around the block. When he returned, the couple began to argue. According to police, David Boston became angry and threw a sofa cushion at his wife, hitting her in the face and nearly hitting the baby. When she called 911, he ripped the phone cord from the wall, according to the report. She took herself and her children upstairs, fearing for their safety, the report said.

It is becoming more apparent that Matt Leinart isn't that bad of a father afterall. Even though he probably doesn't know what his kid looks like and couldn't pick him out of a line, it is a lot better then the baby's momma picking him out of one.

How Byrd got Big

2007-10-22T17:23:00.000-04:00

After blowing a 3-1 series lead last night with an 11-2 loss to the Red Sox in the ALCS game 7, the Indians have even more controversy to deal with. Before the first pitch, Indians pitcher Paul Byrd acknowledged using human growth hormone for a medical condition, but claims he never injected the banned drug without a doctor's prescription. The San Francisco Chronicle reported Sunday he bought nearly US$25,000 worth of HGH and syringes from 2002-05. The Chronicle, citing an anonymous law enforcement source, said two of Byrd's prescriptions for HGH were not written by a physician.

Standing in front of a media throng outside the Indians' clubhouse, Byrd said he has a pituitary gland condition that required him to take HGH. "I have nothing to hide," Byrd said Sunday about two hours before Game 7 of the AL championship series against the Boston Red Sox. "Everything has been done out in the open. I have a reputation. I do not want the fans of Cleveland or honest, caring people to think that I cheated. Because I didn't."

Yeah, I can also say that all of my medications were prescribed by a doctor. How was I supposed to know that the guy on the subway platform with a stethoscope and a notepad wasn't writing legit prescriptions. He seemed very concerned about my well-being. He kept asking me to bend over and cough even though all I wanted was my damn OxyContin.

Stern doesn't get it

2007-10-22T10:05:00.000-04:00

According to a published report, the NBA has disciplined six referees for violating it's anti-gambling rules. Sources told The New York Daily News that the six officials, whose names have not been identified, were found in violation of the league's anti-gambling policy for such infractions as going to casinos. The information came to light as a result of the NBA's investigation into its officials after the Donaghy scandal broke this summer. "Nobody's getting suspended," the source told the paper. "They were reprimanded and punished, but nobody lost their job." "There were some violations," Stern told The New York Daily News, referring to the six. "But they are not hanging crimes."

With the NBA in shambles right now, and more refs breaking league policy, why isn't the league coming down hard on these guys? Rules are rules, yo. No wonder their players are running out of control. This sends the wrong message, like letting Shawn Kemp loose at a sex addicts meeting with a get out of child support free card.

NFL Haiku Recap - Week 7

2007-10-22T09:13:00.000-04:00

Didn't have time to see highlights of every game played on Sunday? Check in for our NFL Haiku recap every Monday morning. A 3-hour game summarized in 17 syllables!

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Willis McGahee
Makes return to Buffalo
Bills have last laugh though.

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Detoit beats Bucs
Lions win more than last year
Garcia fumbles

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Pats bitch slap Dolphins
Brady 27 scores
Could beat Manning's mark

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Saints get second win
Powered by Bush - I like Bush
Falcons need Mex back

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Giants kill San Fran
5th straight win for Eli's team
Tiki Barber who?

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Rakers kick wide left
Zona makes tons of mistakes
Skins over the Cards

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Titans blow big lead
Their kicker has 8 field goals
No Young, win with drunk

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KC wins their 4th
LJ back to his old self
Raiders, Dante - done

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Fourth quarter meltdown
Costs Jets win over Bengals
J-E-T-S SUCK

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Boys block kick for score
Vikings complete 6 passes
Blow more than sex boat

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Bears get a huge win
Have McNabb calling Mommy
Hester non-factor

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Seahawks in first now
They rammed it hard to the Rams
Worse than Miami?

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Broncos deliver
Big Ben made bad decisions
Wear helmet next time

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Throwing Smoke Flashback - Steinbrenner and Martin

2007-10-21T20:47:00.000-04:00

With the New York Yankee manager situation dominating the week, what better flashback than a classic beer commercial featuring the crazy Georege Steinbrenner and Billy Martin.

This explains why both made worse decisions than a drunk whino during their tenure together.

Poet's Corner

2007-10-20T20:22:00.000-04:00

Signs the NFL is getting even more boring,

Any further changes and fans will be snoring.

Controversy, Owens will stop creating

Ocho Cinco to stop celebrating,

Sunday's only excitment will now be church in the morning.

Davenport loves kids

2007-10-19T09:11:00.000-04:00

After investigating an early October domestic incident involving Najeh Davenport, the Cleveland Police department announced Friday that domestic violence, endangering children and unlawful restraint charges have been brought against the Pittsburgh Steeler's running back.

Davenport's ex Anita Person said that Davenport was picking up his 5 year old child for a court-approved visit and threatened to keep him. She said Davenport drove off as she unbuckled the child's seatbelt and then slapped and choked her and slammed her to the ground while she held the boy.

I hope Strahan is watching, because this is what is in store for him. If Person is pissed now, wait until she gets home and finds out Davenport dropped a deuce in her closet.

Torre will not re-sign

2007-10-19T06:31:00.000-04:00

Joe Torre will not return as manager of the New York Yankees after rejecting a substantial pay cut after the team failed to make it past the first round of the playoffs for the third straight year. Torre turned down a $5 million, one-year contract Thursday -- $2.5 million less than he made last season.
The 67-year-old Torre made his decision after traveling from New York to the team's spring training complex in Tampa, Fla., and meeting with Steinbrenner, the owner's sons and top executives for about an hour. He was accompanied by Cashman and chief operating officer Lonn Trost.

"A difficult day," general manager Brian Cashman said. Torre has scheduled a press conference for 2 p.m. ET Friday.

After being jerked around for 12 years by the Yankees it's amazing that Torre still has some dignity left. Turning down this deal shows he's got as much pride as a pack of lions. Only instead of lounging in the sun and eating raw meat, Torre slept in the dugout during games while Jeter prowled the stands.

Baylor coach pissed off

2007-10-19T05:01:00.000-04:00

Eric Schnupp, Baylor's assistant football coach, was cited by police for urinating on the bar at a tavern. He was suspended indefinitely by the school on Tuesday. The incident happened around closing time when Schnupp apparently thought no one was watching him as employees were moving patrons out of the building. Apparently an employee witnessed Schnupp urinating on the bar, and a manager told police officers who were there for an unrelated matter. Schnupp had taken several shots of hard liquor prior to the incident.

What a lame way for a varsity coach to lose his job. If that were me getting fired, you could be damn sure I would be going out in style. And by style, I mean seeing my bare ass on a webcam pounding some freshman slut after I told her it would get her a cheerleading scholarship.

Nascar fans have cooties

2007-10-18T11:44:00.000-04:00

This past weekend, a Democratic official suggested staffers get immunized for several diseases before heading south into NASCAR country to conduct research at a pair of races. In an e-mail, a Democratic staffer who works for committee chairman Rep. Bennie Thompson noted an "unusual need for whomever attending to be vaccinated against hepatitis A and B," as well as "the more normal things -- tetanus, diphtheria, and of course, seasonal influenza." The note didn't explain why the committee saw such concern. This message was enough to draw a sarcastic complaint from Republican Rep. Robin Hayes, whose district includes Lowe's Motor Speedway. "I have never heard of immunizations for domestic travel, and ... I feel compelled to ask why the heck the committee feels that immunizations are needed to travel to my hometown," wrote Hayes. "The very idea of immunization is laughable," said Lowe's Motor Speedway President Humpy Wheeler. "It's like taping your ankles to go to the mailbox."

The democratic staffers will probably be safe so long as they're provided with T-shirts that read 'Back-off, I'm not your cousin.' Health officials would be better served trying to get the fans to use some mouthwash and deodorant.

Gators bitten again

2007-10-18T10:59:00.000-04:00

A walk-on defensive back for the Florida Gators was killed last week when him and a passenger were riding a motorcycle as it struck a median near campus. Michael Guilford, a 19-year-old redshirt freshman from Quincy, was not wearing a helmet. Neither was passenger Ashley Slonina, a Florida junior from Lynn Haven who also died in the crash.

When Slonina told Guilford he was going to get head that night I bet he never thought it would be courtesy of the pavement. This is quite the surprise though. With all of the Gators having run-ins with the law recently, I would have thought the first one of the year would have been killed holding up a liquor store.

Weekly Poll Results

2007-10-18T10:09:00.000-04:00

When asked who would win the World Series, Throwing Smoke readers said:

- 46% - the Rockies are a team of destiny
- 36% - the Tribe will knock off the Red Sox for a finals birth
- 9% each - Arizona or Boston are destined for titles again.

Thanks to all of you who voted. Please check out our new webpoll about European expansion.

NLL is cancelled

2007-10-17T09:55:00.000-04:00

The 14 team National Lacrosse League has canceled its season with the passing of a deadline imposed by owners for reaching a new collective bargaining agreement with the Professional Lacrosse Players' Association. Deputy commissioner George Daniel said owners couldn't agree to play in an uncapped system and that a luxury tax system proposed by the players was also unworkable. Under the proposal payrolls would have gone up significantly had the NLL agreed with the PLPA's proposals, and competitive balance would have been eroded, said Daniel. Given that prospect, "We'd rather not be in business at all," he said.

Am I the only one that didn't know this league was still around? Next they'll be telling me that Cart racing still exists.

Who're they doin

2007-10-17T07:43:00.000-04:00

New York Rangers' winger Jaromir Jagr has scored a lot during his career. But none can be as sweet as netting Inna Puhajkova. As most of the sites about her are in Czech, we have no clue what she does other than look smoking hot.
We didn't want the site to be blocked by your work firewall, so click here for some more goods.

Jagr shoots, he scores!

Blake soldiers on

2007-10-17T02:39:00.000-04:00

Despite being diagnosed with cancer two weeks ago, Toronto Maple Leafs forward Jason Blake scored his first goal of the season over the weekend.

It’s like shades of Saku. And like Koivu, I bet he sleeps with a copy of Lance Armstrong’s “My Journey Back to Life.” Its very presence in your home can cure cancer. I also hear it helps to mask steroids. And to score a date with Sheryl Crow.

OJ feels Vick's pain

2007-10-16T12:06:00.000-04:00

Two co-defendants in the O.J. Simpson armed robbery case have struck deals with prosecutors to plead guilty and provide testimony against The Juice. Charles Cashmore and Walter Alexander both participated in the committing of the crime and some witnesses are claiming that Alexander had a gun.

Cashmore’s lawyer said that his client met Simpson and most of the others in the group for the first time minutes before the alleged robbery. "O.J. says, 'Hey I've got to move some stuff, can you help?' “, the lawyer said. “I think he wishes he would have never met O.J."

I know a Brentwood couple who also wish they never met OJ.

Really, how blind to reality do you have to be to agree to participate in a crime with The Juice? Even Orlando Brown would have seen this one coming. OJ’s no criminal mastermind, there’s no way he would have gotten away with another felony. He should have left the table after his lucky hand of four Jewish lawyers and the race card.

Wie's agent resigns

2007-10-16T07:14:00.000-04:00

On Monday, Michelle Wie's agent resigned after less than a year on the job. Greg Nared, a former Nike business manager whom the William Morris Agency hired a year ago to manage Wie, resigned as vice president of golf. His announcement came one day after Wie finished 19th in a 20-player field at the Samsung World Championship.

Nared was also involved in the controversy at the Ginn Tribute in South Carolina in the spring, when he was conferring with Wie on the 16th tee moments before she withdrew. Wie was 14 over par through 16 holes when she quit, and it appeared as though she was trying to avoid the LPGA's "Rule 88," in which nonmembers are ineligible for one year if they shoot 88 or higher.

"After careful consideration for my future, I have resigned effective immediately," Nared said in a statement e-mailed to The Associated Press. "I'm very grateful to the William Morris Agency for the opportunity to work with world-class athletes. It has been an invaluable experience and I'll forever cherish [it]."

Nared bailing out as Wie's agent is exactly what Bob Gainey's daughter would have done. Only her ship wasn't sinking.

Mitchell report will expose

2007-10-16T03:18:00.000-04:00

It was reported that some officials of the 30-team Major League Baseball conference call held mid-day Friday with the understanding that Senator George Mitchell's report would include many names; names which have so far not been disclosed publicly; and the names of well-known players. Said one source familiar with what was said on the conference call, "This is going to be enormous ... it's going to be a huge story when these names come out." The Mitchell report is due for release sometime between the conclusion of the World Series and the beginning of the new year.

MLB roid users are going to be exposed more than Byron Houston at the height of a bipolar fit. So Canseco better get his second book into print fast before Mitchell steals his thunder. And I hope we don't see David Eckstein's name on that list. It would crush my childhood dreams to find out that his 30 career jacks were a result of him juicing.

At Penn State, RB means raping back

2007-10-15T20:51:00.000-04:00

Suspended Penn State running back Austin Scott has been charged with raping a woman at his on-campus apartment after meeting her at a bar. Scott, 22, was arraigned Friday on charges of rape, sexual assault and two counts of aggravated indecent assault, all felonies, in connection with the Oct. 5 encounter. Scott also faces three misdemeanors: two counts of indecent assault and one count of simple assault. He was released on $50,000 unsecured bail and ordered to stay away from the alleged victim.

"The interaction he had with the woman involved was consensual, and we anticipate we will be able to prove that in court," his lawyer, Joseph Amendola, said. "Very optimistic. We're looking forward to the opportunity of establishing his innocence."

To Scott's defense, when a woman agrees to go back to your apartment after a night at the bar, it is the universal sign for let's do it. That is unless you had to drag her there after downing a few roofie-tini's.

NFL Haiku Recap - Week 6

2007-10-15T18:56:00.000-04:00

Popcorn was ready
Brady tosses 5 touchdown's
Owens' Boys lost.

-----------------------

Vikings' Peterson
Runs wild versus Chi-Town
Bring back Coach Ditka

-----------------------

Dolphins lose 9th straight
Browns offense looks high octane
Who needs Brady Quinn?

-----------------------

Favre sets new record
This time for interceptions
Pack still gets 5th win

-----------------------

Tony Gonzalez
Sets TD mark for tight ends
Bengals lose their 4th

-----------------------

Eagles beat the Jets
Battle of two 1 win teams
Do we care who won?

-----------------------

Garcia leads Bucs
On last minute drive to win
Young's dumb, strains his quad

-----------------------

Jones-Drew powers Jags
Get 4th win and looking good
Houston back to earth

-----------------------

Testaverde's back
Grandpa leads Panthers to win
Cards looks like old self

-----------------------

LT is back yo
Scored all the Chargers touchdowns
Back in playoff hunt

-----------------------

Saints out of nowhere
Get first win of the season
Hawks - downward spiral

-----------------------

Ravens get 4th win
Over the dreadful Rams team
Change name to bye-week

Steinbrenners are multiplying

2007-10-15T04:07:00.000-04:00

With reports of George's failing health, his sons Hank and Hal Steinbrenner have taken over the daily running of the New York Yankees, according to a report. The New York Post said the details about the control of the franchise will be ironed out at top-level meetings the Yankees are holding this week in Tampa.

"George has taken on a role like the chairman of a major corporation," team president Randy Levine told the paper. "He's been saying for years he's wanted to get his sons involved in the family business. Both of them have stepped up and are taking on the day-to-day duties of what's required to run the Yankees."

Hank Steinbrenner said in the interview that he will share final say on team decisions with his brother Hal but Hank will apparently focus more on the baseball side of the business. Hal Steinbrenner will focus more on the construction of the new Yankee Stadium, which is scheduled to open in 2009.

Hopefully the boys have learned what not to do from their crazy dad. Such as considering the hiring and firing Joe Torre 5 times. Or leaving a paper trail when they are going to pay a stripper to get the dirt on A-Rod before his contract negotiations.

Throwing Smoke Flashback - Football fan promotions

2007-10-14T12:43:00.000-04:00

Who doesn't love going to a sporting event and hearing their name called for a chance to win a fantastic prize? Sure it all sounds lucrative, until this happens to you in front of thousands of fans. And all you go home with is a lifetime supply of mockery on YouTube.

This clip is from a Toronto Argonauts CFL game in August of this year.

Poet's Corner

2007-10-13T12:34:00.000-04:00

Landis is still at it.
Filing his final appeal
With the Court of Arbitration of Sport
The extent this liar will go is unreal.

What does he think,
Every lab and court made a mistake?
He is more annoying
Than a herpes outbreak.

Give back the yellow jersey,
and ride your bike into a pit.
You were caught cheating with steroids,
and turning your sport into shit.

Bush was paid during college

2007-10-12T21:04:00.000-04:00

Sports marketer, Lloyd Lake, will give NCAA investigators financial records and other evidence linking Reggie Bush and his family to nearly US$280,000 in benefits, while he was enrolled at the University of Southern California, according to a report Wednesday.

Yahoo! Sports reported it had acquired confidential e-mails from officers of New Era Sports & Entertainment, that show the agency soliciting marketing and memorabilia deals on the running back's behalf, Yahoo! Sports reported. Both Yahoo! Sports and the Los Angeles Times reported Tuesday that Lake is expected to file a civil lawsuit in San Diego against Bush later this month, seeking to recoup money allegedly given to Bush and his family.

If Bush is found to have received improper benefits, USC could be forced to forfeit games. The school could face other sanctions if it's proven that coaches knew or should have known about the alleged benefits. Also, if Bush is found to have broken NCAA rules during his Heisman-winning season, the award could be revoked.

I don't care how great it is, $280,000 is an awful lot of bling to cough up in the hopes of scoring Bush. Granted it's still a lot less than the $19,000,000 it cost Denny Neagle.

NFL head office hates booty

2007-10-12T20:40:00.000-04:00

On Inside the NFL Charlie Casserly reported that last week that the NFL sent a memo to all 32 teams informing them home teams can no longer torture the visitors with their smoking hot cheerleaders.

Said Casserly: No longer will [the cheerleaders] be allowed to warm up in front of the visiting team locker room or do their stretching in front of the visiting team locker room and they can't go in the tunnel! The reason? Some players feel they were being a little distracted.

This officially marks the day the NFL got out of control with their rules. Nothing says football like half naked dancing chicks and TD celebrations. Even a Panda bear would agree these are fastly becoming extinct. By week 8, expect the team logo on the 50 yard line to be replaced with Goodell's face. And before the games, instead of the national anthem, all fans will be forced to bow down to his image for a chorus of Sieg Heils.

Golf T-Shirts cause uproar

2007-10-12T09:19:00.000-04:00

Jamie Gent, Haslett High School's athletic director, saw something perverted in his girl's golf team recently ordered T-shirts which read "Grip It and Rip It." Gent confiscated the shirts and sent them back to the manufacturer.

Among those baffled by Gent's interpretation was Cathleen McGreal, mother of one of the team members, Shannon McGreal-Miller. In an e-mail message McGreal, an associate professor in MSU's Department of Psychology, wrote: "(The golfers) were under the impression that this was a golf phrase that referred to gripping the golf club and letting the ball sail. We don't want our daughters to be wearing anything that implies a meaning that we don't know about." In a telephone interview, Gent wasn't clear on that point, saying only that "Grip It and Rip It" can be "taken two ways" one of which carries a "sexual connotation."

Call me naive, but I have never heard this term used for anything other than golf. But who knows considering the booze and slut king of the PGA, John Daly, is using this motto on his website,. It's a good thing Gent didn't coach the women's golf team at my high school. There is no way he would have approved their motto of "Get Head for $20"

Happy 18th Birthday Michelle Wie!

2007-10-11T13:18:00.000-04:00

We at Throwing Smoke would like to wish the lovely Michelle Wie a happy 18th birthday. 18 is a great year in anyone's life. The time when teenagers become adults. And can now legally sleep with their swing coach.

Owens leaves a note this time

2007-10-11T07:41:00.000-04:00

After practice Wednesday, Terrell Owens was no where to be found when reporters came calling. What they did find was the following nearly poster-sized, typewritten note:

"Dear Reporters,
"Due to the magnitude of this week's game and high volume of questions for the Original 81 about the other 81. I will be taking all questions immediately following Sunday's game.
"Sincerely, (followed by Owens' signature)
"p.s. Getcha Popcorn Ready."

The 'Other 81' is referring to the Patriots stud receiver Randy Moss.

But just like you, I was equally as disappointed when I read the message Owens left behind. Ever since last year's pill overdose fiasco, the only note involving T.O. that I want to read is of the suicide variety.

Vick still paying the price

2007-10-11T06:49:00.000-04:00

Already facing prison time, disgraced quarterback Michael Vick lost the first round in his financial battle with the Atlanta Falcons when an arbitrator ruled Tuesday that Vick should repay much of the bonus money he got after signing his most recent contract. The Falcons argued that Vick, who pleaded guilty to federal charges for his role in the long-running operation, knew he was in violation of the contract when he signed a 10-year, $130 million deal in December 2004. The team said he used proceeds from the contract to fund his illicit activities and sought the repayment of $19,970,000 in bonuses he was paid over the last three years. The case is far from over. The players' union said it will appeal the ruling.

With the ridiculous amounts of cash Vick has already lost from his sponsorship deals , having to cough up another $20 Million is worse than a dog bite to the nads. Lucky for him, his pending time in the slammer is turning out to be a blessing in diguise. Sure the nightly anal rapings in the shower can't be pleasant, but at least his room and board for the next year won't do further damage on his pocketbook.

Who're they doin'

2007-10-10T21:27:00.000-04:00

Have you heard of Paradorn Srichaphan? Neither have we, but apparently he is the highest ever ranked tennis player from Thailand in history, reaching a career high World No. 9 a few years back on the ATP tour. Paradorn is noted for his politeness on the court and Thai greeting before each match.

All this is great, but his ace is how he landed 2005 Miss Universe Natalie Glebova. The couple is to wed later this fall and have recently purchased a love nest in his native Thailand. How he netted this hot piece of Canadian/Russian ass is beyond us.

Game, set, match Srichaphan! Well done mate.

Race card played yet again

2007-10-10T20:48:00.000-04:00

The head of a black coaches group is frustrated by the lack of minority head coaches in college football, and his remedy may be to go to court. Keith Floyd, executive director of Black Coaches and Administrators, said Tuesday his group will consider legal action under civil rights legislation.

After four years of promoting the value of diversity and sifting through statistics, Keith is disappointed by the slow pace of progress. Apparently, of the 33 coaches hired last season by the Division I-A and I-AA schools, only two minority head coaches were hired -- African American Randy Shannon at Miami and Hispanic Mario Cristobal, at Florida International.

Excluding the historically black colleges and universities that play football, the other 220 schools making up Division I had 12 minority head coaches at the start of this season. The report also says only 26 black coaches have been hired at FBS schools, and of the 197 openings since 1996, only 12 have gone to blacks.

"We've brought that up and it will be considered on a case-by-case basis," Keith told The Associated Press before the announcement of this year's BCA hiring report card. "But it has to be the right case."

Not that my Harvard Business degree has taught me anything, but doesn't common sense say that when you are running a multi-million dollar enterprise, you will hire the best person for job, regardless of race, creed or colour? You never heard me playing the race card when I got offered some crackers during my application for a coaching job at Compton High.

Tootoo is a cheater on and off the ice

2007-10-10T12:32:00.000-04:00

Nashville Predators forward and Inuit Jordin Tootoo learned what it means to piss off a southern gal. Tootoo had been dating country singer Kellie Pickler since early this year, but apparently that's on the rocks. "Jordin knows what he did," she said last week.

While performing in Michigan on Sept. 22, concertgoers say, Kellie told the crowd that Jordin cheated on her, so her theme song now is Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats." While she joked that she hoped his teeth were knocked out during that night's game, her attempt to laugh through her pain didn't last long: She cried onstage while singing "Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You."

If his NHL suspensions didn't already prove to you what an asshole Tootoo is, maybe cheating on a hot blonde will. So now when you hear Pickler's future #1 hit about how her heart got clubbed like a seal by a guy with a soul as cold as an igloo, you know her inspiration.

Yankees done

2007-10-09T11:54:00.000-04:00

The Cleveland Indians eliminated the New York Yankees from the post season play with a 6-4 win last night in Yankee Stadium. Cleveland moves on to its first ALCS since 1998, opening Friday night at Boston.

Joe Torre may be on the hot seat. Although he managed the Yankees to four World Series titles in his first five years and reached the playoffs in all 12 of his seasons, it still might not be enough for Steinbrenner; who is notoriously impatient that his team of multimillionaires has lost 13 of its last 17 postseason games and gone seven years in a row with no championship.

In Joe's defence, what is the poor bastard to do in the post season when his GM gives him a roster filled with shotty middle relief to go along with players who don't play when their regular season paycheques cease. Trying to perform with deadwood is like asking Rafael Palmeiro to show up for a porn shoot without his little blue pill.

Weekly Poll Results

2007-10-09T09:31:00.000-04:00

When asked what was their favourite sport of the fall, Throwing Smoke readers have spoken:

- 57.1% love the start of the NHL season
- 14.3% each anxiously await the MLB playoffs and the NFL year being in full effect,
- 7.1% each can't get enough of the Nascar Chase and US College sports
- While no one cares about the NBA

Thanks to all of you who voted. Please check out our new poll about what team is favoured to win the World Series.

NFL Haiku Recap - Week 5

2007-10-09T08:53:00.000-04:00

Tenn. 5 turnovers
Falcon's deader than Vick's dogs
Young finds ways to win

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Jags now 3 and 1
Cheifs only 10 rushing yards
LJ's deal's a fraud

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Matt breaks collarbone
Will have a real QB in.
Rams lose 5th of year

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Pats steam roll the Browns
5th by more than seventeen.
Cleveland was outclassed

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Saints lose yet again
Bush, Brees look ordinary
Playoffs a long shot

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Giants over Jets
In the battle of New York
Eli leading team.

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Seahawks were shut out.
Easier to score virgins
Than on the Steelers

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Dolphins get 5th loss
Anti-72 team
Trent Green knocked silly

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No Marvin, Addai
It don't matter to Peyton
Taught Bucs a lesson

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Chargers beat Broncos
Offense finally shows up
No LT touchdown

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9 to 7 game
Soccer match has more offense
Raven's d stops Gore

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Pack loses first game
5 turnovers killed their hopes
Bears take gift for win

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Bills blow big lead late
Even with Romo's 5 picks
Onside kick killed them

Henry staring at strike #3

2007-10-09T08:25:00.000-04:00

Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry wants to submit a hair sample and also take a lie detector test to prove that a league administered drug test gave a false positive that could lead to a year-long suspension, sources close to the Broncos and the player told ESPN's Chris Mortensen.

Henry, 28, signed a five-year, $22.5 million contract with the Broncos in March, only days after the Tennessee Titans released him to avoid paying an $8 million roster bonus that he was due early in the month. The contract with the Broncos includes language that stipulates Henry must repay a $6 million signing bonus, or whatever portion of it he has been paid, if he is suspended for drugs at any time during the term of the deal.

Henry has been adamant that he has been clean and he has filed a lawsuit in a New York state court to prevent the league from suspending him as a three-time violator of league's drug policy.

Henry has to keep on playing for society's sake. With all of the roadgame bimbos on his payroll for his harem of bastard kids, the welfare system can't handle the expense if he defaults on his support payments. The last thing the world needs is ~~more baby's momma's go without their botox~~ to have more hungry children.

New Hottest Female Athlete - Happy Thanksgiving

2007-10-08T21:27:00.000-04:00

In an online fan vote hosted by AOL last month, Funny Car driver Ashley Force was recently named AOL's Hottest Athlete. She follows in the ranks of other hottest athlete winners of online polls done by ESPN such as Tanith Belbin, Jennie Finch, Amanda Beard, Heather Mitts and Anna Kournikova. The online poll was conducted in a bracket style much the NCAA tournament bracket.

When we heard Ashley was into drag racing, I thought she was a tranny sprinter. But I guess that explains why I didn't get any play from her when I showed up in her pit area dressed like Oscar de la Hoya.

Editor's note: Your NFL Haiku recap will appear on Tuesday due to the holiday Monday!

Throwing Smoke Flashback - Steve Bartman

2007-10-07T15:23:00.000-04:00

On Friday, we saw a kid in Boston, Danny Vinik, reaching over the temporary photographers' box in front of the stands to catch a foul ball. His snag kept Los Angeles Angels catcher Jeff Mathis from catching Manny Ramirez's foul pop on Friday night; and ultimataly leading to Ramirez drawing a walk to load the bases before Mike Lowell's sacrifice fly tied the game, which the BoSox went on to win.

Seeing this kid praised, how can we forget how fans and foulballs can go horribly wrong. You can't watch the Cubs playing playoff baseball without thinking of the infamous name 'Steve Bartman.'

Yeah, it is a tiny picture, but the best we could find.

The poor bastard is lucky to still be alive. Here is the video of him being escorted out of the stadium.

Poet's Corner

2007-10-06T21:56:00.000-04:00

New York is down two games to none,

The gnats that flew made the game no fun.

A-Rod's choking again,

0-6, he will need to explain.

Why in the first round the Yankees will be done.

Marion was in fact juiced

2007-10-05T08:16:00.000-04:00

According to a letter Jones sent to close family and friends, track star Marion Jones has acknowledged using steroids as she prepared for the 2000 Summer Games in Sydney and plans to plead guilty tomorrow in New York to two counts of lying to federal agents about her drug use and an unrelated financial matter,

Jones, who won five medals at the Sydney Olympics, said she took the steroid known as "the clear" for two years beginning in 1999, according to the letter, which was read to The Washington Post by a person who had been given a copy. Jones also wrote that former coach, Trevor Graham, gave her the substance, telling her it was the nutritional supplement flaxseed oil and saying she should take it by putting two drops under her tongue. Jones said she "trusted [Graham] and never thought for one second" she was using a performance-enhancing drug until after she left Graham's Raleigh, N.C.-based training camp at the end of 2002. "Red flags should have been raised when he told me not to tell anyone about" the supplement program, she said in the letter. She also said she noticed changes in how her body felt and how she was able to recover from workouts. Graham, contacted by telephone today, said he had no comment.

Jones's admissions could cost her the three gold and two bronze medals she won in Sydney. In addition Jones faces up to six months in jail and would be sentenced in three months. Federal sentencing guidelines call for a maximum of five years in prison for one count of lying to federal agents.

We respect Marion finally coming clean on the issue unlike other douchebag athletes. But how can you not realize you are being given steroids when your clitoris expands to the size of a penis. Granted, considering all the rolls on her ex-husband C.J. Hunter, neither had probably seen one in years to compare.

Brown feeling down

2007-10-05T03:29:00.000-04:00

Los Angeles Lakers center Kwame Brown, charged with disorderly conduct and interfering with a police officer after his cousin was charged with drunken driving last weekend, claimed Wednesday it was simply a misunderstanding. Brown faces misdemeanor charges after police in Valdosta, Ga., pulled over Charles Warren Jr. early Saturday for driving the wrong way down a one-way street, Lt. Bobbi McGraw said earlier Wednesday. Police questioned Warren about the strong smell of alcohol in his vehicle. Brown approached the officers and told them he was Warren's cousin and the vehicle belonged to the Laker, McGraw said. She said there was no indication Brown was in the car, but that he happened to be in the area, adding Brown became disruptive and tried to interfere with the officers' investigation, which led to his arrest. "I wasn't in the car -- at all," Brown said. "I walked up. That wasn't in the police report. I would never have been in the car when somebody was driving drunk."

Isn't it fishy that dude just 'happened to be in the area.' It seems he is always in the wrong place at the wrong time. If it isn't a rape accusation, it's stealing a cake and tossing it at someone. I can't wait to hear what Brown's next excuse will be when, after a game, they find him and Kobe in the back alley with a passed out fan.

Another Florida player arrested

2007-10-05T01:53:00.000-04:00

Safety Tony Joiner has become the eighth Florida player in the last nine months to get in legal trouble. Joiner, a senior captain and defensive leader, was arrested early Tuesday and charged with felony burglary, police said.

Joiner was accused of pushing a heavy electric gate open to enter the lot in an attempt to retrieve his girlfriend's car, which was being held in lieu of a $76 towing bill, a police report said.

Owner of the towing company said Joiner had made arrangements to pay the towing bill and pick up the car. But when Joiner arrived, no one was around to help Joiner.

"I don't know if he was late or early or what," said the owner, who plans to urge the state attorney's office to drop the charges. "I don't understand why he was arrested. Is it a crime? Yes and no. It's kind of my fault because I left the gate open. It's like going to breakfast at Cracker Barrel and when you go to leave there's no one there to take your money. How long are you going to wait?"

8 guys in 9 months is enough even to make the Bengals blush. What can you expect when put athletics ahead of academics. It is great to recruit thugs that can sprint 40 yards in 4.4 seconds, but it shouldn't be timed as they try and elude the cops.

Bell speaks about Bonds some more

2007-10-05T00:50:00.000-04:00

In the NY Daily news, Kimberly Bell is speaking more about her time banging Barry Bonds. All this is of course to promote her upcoming Playboy appearance.

Bell states that while Barry's body had grown thicker, his back was pocked with acne, his hair had fallen out and his testicles had shriveled he kept asking her if she thought anyone would suspect he was on the juice. "Do I look bloated?" Bonds wanted to know. "Does it look funny? Do you think this is obvious?"

Bells other comments include:

On Bonds in the sack: "When you're dealing with somebody who's that selfish, with that kind of ego, you learn to exaggerate your reactions to make him feel better."

On Barry's mood: "I always figured he had PMS, like a woman." He became a different person, controlling, threatening and finally violent.

She also said that the controversial slugger did not lavish her with gifts or pay her bills. She lived in a studio apartment for the first eight years of their relationship. He did buy her a home in Scottsdale, Ariz., near the end of their relationship, and gave her tens of thousands of dollars for the house. But he stopped making house payments as promised.

Even though she did the home run champion, don't count on me going to buy this magazine. When I want to see aging box, I just have to aim my binoculars at the retirement home across the street during their sponge baths.

Vick repents

2007-10-04T12:39:00.000-04:00

Michael Vick recently accepted an invitation from PETA and attended an eight-hour course on animal cruelty at the group's Virginia headquarters. PETA assistant director Dan Shannon said when Vick completed the course, he was given material to take home and study. Vick returned to the offices on a later day to take a test on the things he'd learned, which he passed.

Apparently Vick's day was specifically planned for him, and it focused on animal protection and empathy. First, he was given an overview of animal protection, then a session that laid out the scientific evidence for animals' ability to feel happiness, sadness and pain. He saw police training tapes that describe links between violence toward animals and violence toward humans. Another session was based on Christian teachings about the treatment of animals.

"He seemed to get the most out of that," Shannon said. "He was blown away by how much the Bible had to say about animals."

Though PETA officials are still pressing for jail time for Vick, Shannon did say everyone was impressed with the seriousness with which Vick approached his classes. "He seemed nervous at first," Shannon said, "but he seemed really interested."

Because of the impact PETA officials think the course had on Vick, Shannon sent a letter on Tuesday to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell asking him to make a similar course mandatory for all NFL players.

I’m sure sensitivity training will go over real well in NFL clubhouses. And while they’re at it they can send in some feminists to explain to the players that it’s NOT okay to spit on women. Or to shoot your girlfriend because you got her preggers.

More bad news for a Met

2007-10-04T10:47:00.000-04:00

Scott Schoeneweis, the veteran New York Mets reliever and a survivor of testicular cancer, received six steroid shipments from Signature Pharmacy while playing for the Chicago White Sox in 2003 and 2004, ESPN has learned. According to a source in Florida close to the ongoing investigation of Signature, Schoeneweis' name appears on packages that were sent to Comiskey Park while the White Sox were battling to win the AL Central title in 2003. Two more shipments arrived at the stadium in 2004, months before Schoeneweis underwent arthroscopic surgery on his left elbow.

"I don't even know what that is," Schoeneweis said, according to the Daily News. "Steroids in Florida? I never received anything from Florida. I'm not going to comment. I never even heard of it."

Getting your drug mailed to the ballpark is as dumb as you can get. Even Doc Gooden had enough sense to smuggle his blow to the park in his rosin bag.

Cardinals dismiss felon

2007-10-04T08:44:00.000-04:00

Louisville Cardinals Willie Williams was dismissed from the team after being arrested last week on charges for possession of marijuana, felony tampering with physical evidence and driving without a license. Louisville police arrested the 6-3, 230-pound Williams after he was stopped for driving a car with the music playing too loudly. A detective searched the car and found Williams trying to hide a small amount of marijuana, Russell said. "He basically had the marijuana in his mouth," said Russell, who would not release the identities of the others in the car because they were not arrested. Several other schools passed on Williams, but after attending West Los Angeles Community College, the Cardinals took a chance on him. The high school All-American gained infamy for his long criminal record as a teenager that included 11 arrests, which derailed his intention of playing football at Miami.

This kid has a rap-sheet that would make even Pacman blush. But it is just as well he ruined his NFL career before it even started. Now it will put him a year ahead in his new career path - to become the party favor in cell block F.

Knicks to pay

2007-10-03T10:24:00.000-04:00

A jury ordered the owners of the New York Knicks to pay US$11.6 million to a former team executive who endured crude insults and unwanted advances from coach Isiah Thomas. The jury of four women and three men found Thomas and Madison Square Garden sexually harassed Anucha Browne Sanders, but it decided only MSG and chairman James Dolan should pay for harassing and firing Browne Sanders from her $260,000-a-year job out of spite. The Garden owes $6 million for condoning a hostile work environment and $2.6 million for retaliation. Dolan owes $3 million. Though Thomas is off the hook for any damages, he leaves the case with a tarnished image.

"What I did here, I did for every working woman in America," Browne Sanders said. "And that includes everyone who gets up and goes to work in the morning, everyone working in a corporate environment."

MSG said it will appeal, also denying wrongdoing in a case widely viewed as a public relations disaster for a franchise struggling to regain credibility. The team hasn't won a playoff game since Thomas was signed as president in December 2003 and has wasted millions this decade on a series of free-agent busts and hiring Larry Brown.

Thomas is turning out to be more expensive to the Knicks than an ex-wife. I am not saying Isiah is the worst executive ever, but if I had a choice of working for his organization or letting Anthony Mason date my teenage cousin, I'd tie a bow around her and wish her good luck.

Who're they doin'

2007-10-03T01:03:00.000-04:00

With the Phillies triumphant making the post-season thanks to the Mets' collapse, what better way to celebrate their playoff birth then with Cole Hamel's wife, Heidi Strobel. The lovely Ms. Strobel is best known for her appearance on Survivor Amazon, as well has her Playboy shoot with a fellow contestant.

Best of luck to the Phillies. If they score as well as Cole did, they shouldn't have a problem bringing home a World title.

More college football slayings

2007-10-02T10:16:00.000-04:00

A University of Memphis football defensive lineman was fatally shot on campus in what police believe was a targeted attack. Taylor Bradford, 21, apparently was shot near a university housing complex last night and then crashed a car he was driving into a tree. "We found him with a bullet wound to the body and the ambulance took him to the hospital, where he was pronounced [dead]," said a police inspector.

Tennessee police have not announced any suspects in the case, but who wants to bet that sooner or later Pacman Jones is going to be questioned in connection with the shooting? I’m not saying Pacman is a murderer, but as part of a healthy lifestyle 9 out of 10 physicians recommend maintaining a 10-mile “pacman-free” zone.

Parker dunks it

2007-10-02T10:00:00.000-04:00

Who doesn't love athlete sex-tape rumours? Word on the web is that there is a sex-tape featuring intimate scenes with San Antonio Spur Tony Parker and his hottie wife. Latest reports suggest the video HAS made its way online, but only on paid for sites.

When I heard that a French athlete had a sex tape, I was so relieved to hear it was Tony Parker jack-hammering Eva Longoria. The last thing I wanted to see was Amelie Mauresmo using a gas-powered vibrator on her partner's hairy box.

Editor's note: If you have the video, e-mail it to our contact e-mail address, and you will be our hero forever.

Editor's note: What a sick joke this turned out to be. The tape is just like the Rockies/Padre game last night. No one was touching homebase when it counted.

Isiah is about to lose

2007-10-02T09:45:00.000-04:00

A jury indicated Monday that it believes New York Knicks coach Isiah Thomas and Madison Square Garden committed sexual harassment against a former team executive. There was no official verdict, but the wording of a note to the judge by jurors makes it clear they have reached decisions on the key points of the $10 million lawsuit that has turned into a public relations disaster for the franchise.

Jurors reached a decision on eight of nine questions on the jury form. They were deadlocked on the one question, which asks whether Thomas should pay punitive damages. That question only becomes relevant if the jury first determines Thomas and Madison Square Garden committed harassment against Anucha Browne Sanders.

Thomas' defense lawyers f'd up. Why the hell didn't they bring in some dude to make out with Isiah in the witness box? Nothing says 'I didn't sexually harass that woman' then coming out of the closet live on Court TV. I wouldn't recommend using Magic Johnson though. Isiah was lucky enough to avoid the kiss of death last time they swapped saliva .

NFL Haiku Recap - Week 4

2007-10-01T10:00:00.000-04:00

Falcons win a game,
Harrington throws 2 TD's,
Ron Mexico who?

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Bills get their first win.
Led by Edwards at QB,
Losman new fry guy

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Browns destroy Ravens
Anderson looks like a stud
Who saw this coming?

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St. Louis 4th loss
Romo leads Boys to 4th win,
Look unbeatable

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Lions over Bears
Griese 3 interceptions
Were we wrong on Rex?

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Culpepper FU's old team
Don't rent a boat to rejoice
Raiders over Dolphins

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Favre record TD's
Leads his Pack to 4 and 0
Now that kills the pain

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Indy beats Broncos
So much for great pass defense
Peyton can't be stopped

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Steelers get first lost
At the hands of Cardinals
Arizona's real?

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T-bay wins their third
Holds Steve Smith in check this time,
Garcia earns sluts

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Seahawks win the game
San Fran lose Alex Smith too
Another long year

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Chargers lose again
Shouldn't have fired Marty
Turner's a shit coach

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McNabb downed twelve times
Strahan breaks career sacks mark
His ex breaks the bank

Soccer hottie speaks her mind

2007-10-01T09:46:00.000-04:00

After not starting the semi-final match in the Women's Soccer World Cup against Brazil last week, U.S. goalie Hope Solo told us all what was on her mind after the USA's 4-0 loss:

"It was the wrong decision," said Solo. "Anybody that knows anything about the game knows that. There's no doubt in my mind I would have made those saves. The fact of the matter is it's not 2004 anymore. It's 2007 and you have to live in the present and you can't live by big names (relating to her replacement, Brianna Scurry). It doesn't matter what somebody did in the Olympics three years ago."

On Saturday, she recanted and posted this apology on her myspage page: "I have felt compelled to clear the air regarding many of my post game comments on Thursday night. I am not proud or happy the way things have come out," reads a statement attributed to Solo on her MySpace page. "In my eyes there is no justification to put down a teammate. That is not what I was doing. I only wanted to speak of my own abilities yet also recognize that the past is the past. Things were taken out of context, or analyzed differently from my true meaning of my own words," she said, according to the Web site. "For that I am sorry. I hope everybody will come to know I have a deep respect for this team and for Bri."

The controversial loss ended a 51-game undefeated streak for the U.S. with all but one of those matches coached by Greg Ryan. His move caught many by surprise and was viewed with skepticism. This controversy lead Ryan to toss Solo off the team for Sunday's third-place game against Norway. His decision, had the support of the remaining 20 players.

Solo should have taken a lesson from Hollywood. Anytime a hot woman speaks her mind, it gets her into trouble. The only time they should open their mouths is to breath and eat. Sausage.

Editor's Note: With her international soccer career on ice, we pray Hef knows her phone number.

Mets lose, Mets lose!

2007-10-01T09:31:00.000-04:00

After blowing a big September lead in the NL East, the Mets missed the playoffs Sunday when Glavine was battered for seven runs during the first inning of a season-ending 8-1 loss to the Florida Marlins. New York's defeat along with Philadelphia's 6-1 win over Washington gave the division title to the Phillies and sent the stunned Mets home wondering how they choked a seven-game lead with 17 to go in the regular season. No major league team had owned a lead of seven games or more with 17 to play and failed to finish in first place. New York, which had that margin on Sept. 12, matched the largest lead blown in September. The 1934 New York Giants (Sept. 6) and 1938 Pittsburgh Pirates (Sept. 1) and also led by seven games in the final month only to drop into a fatal tailspin.

"It's something that's going to take a while for us to get over," said Glavine, pitching for maybe the last time in his major league hall of fame career.

The only other New York collapse rivaling this is the trade center. Even Jean Van De Velde is calling the Mets a bunch of losers.